I am glad I took the first available appointment. My blood work is scheduled for 8 a.m. Who knows how long it will take to get it back? Usually when I get my blood drawn in the morning they don't have my results till mid afternoon. Which means I will find out at work. WHICH SUCKS.
A. I will be happyfreakedoutparanoid and who doesn't want to feel like that at work?
B. I will be resignedphilosophicaldepressed and who doesn't want to feel like that at work?
I feel like I have to smack myself around and remind myself that hey- there is an 80% chance that it did not work. And that if it did work on the first try I would be constantly and irrationally waiting for the other shoe to drop.
On the other hand, it does work for some people on the first try. Last night I was lying in bed thinking that right then I might be growing a baby. That we could have a baby in March. I wonder if it feels different to grow up knowing that your parents tried so very hard for you? I know my husband was an accident. He is a little sensitive about it. Do you think that the children of IF ever think about the mountains that had to be moved to get them here? Or, as is the right of children are they unable to imagine a world without them?
I plan on telling our children how difficult it was for them to get here and how very much they were wanted. I want our daughters if we have them to understand their fertility and know enough to take care of it. I want our sons to understand the deep responsibility of having a child. Some day if they are interested, they can read my blog. Of course, most parents are only kind of interesting to their children. I know I would be horrified to read about my parents sex life. But I want them to have the option.
Tomorrow will never come. And tomorrow will be here too soon.
In which we're talking about holiday music
43 minutes ago
10 comments:
My husband was an oops and early and a c-section. His mom's incision was painful and she let him know. He still gets tears in his eyes talking about.
My step son was an oops but I don't think he knows that.
The child I'm carrying now, finally - eesh. We went through Hell to get to this point and we still have over half the pregnancy to go. This child will know what we went through and how we didn't give up.
Hoping it worked on the first try for you.
i hear you, tomorrow cannot come fast enough. i will definitely tell my kids how much we wanted them and all we went through to get them, but i don't think it will have any bearing on their lives.
You're almost there! WooHoo! I'm SO jealous.
Your kids are going to need therapy after they read your blog.
My brother was an "oops." I remind him of it regularily. I'm sure he doesn't mind. :)
Hopefully not. Well , maybe if we have more pictures of the cats then we do of them.
If there is one blessing that comes from infertility, it's knowing how much you love and wanted your kids. (And I know it pisses fertiles off when that gets said, but there is a special and different kind of satisifaction that comes from beating the difficult path.) I will be thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow.
I just love how you write! I love how you're so honest and raw. You're right, tomorrow will never come. And tomorrow will be here too soon.
*HUGS*
While this is the first try with meds and IUI, you have already been trying for what, three years? If it works this cycle, you damn well deserve it! I am wishing and hoping for great news tomorrow.
I often wonder how it will affect our children, knowing how hard we tried for them. I certainly plan to tell any kids we have how much we wanted and waited for them. I hope they feel very loved, even when they don't get their way.
I think that letting them read your blog when they are old enough is great. At some point, I want to get my blog printed into a little book for myself through Blurb. Supposedly they have a way of capturing your blog posts and making them into a book.
Hang in there, and good luck tomorrow!
Good luck good luck good luck!
Three freaking years and four freaking months. ARGH. I totally self medicated with carbs.
Good luck Celia. My fingers are crossed for whatever that is worth.
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