Freedom recap

Lord above, we are thankful to be alone. Well, as alone as you can get with five cats. We took Mom up, and then my sister took me to get my hair done and my eyebrows waxed. Thank goodness, I have not had my hair done since the summer.

My sister also took me to the mall, and I am now the proud owner of new underpants in size GIANT. As well as a new bra. And two new pairs of pants and two new shirts. THAT LOOK CUTE! I am excited.

However, I must tell you the last thing Mom said to me. It was "Goodbye. I love your hair, I hope I wasn't in the way."

Then, since Mister left separately an hour later and met us at the mall , she said " Goodbye, I hope I wasn't in the way."

sigh.

I am pretty sure we were both supposed to say " Of course not, you are NEVER in the way." Except I try not to play her stupid games. So I said " Jesus Christ, Mom."

Tune in tomorrow, my INLAWS are coming to dinner.

I am updating to say, yes the carpel tunnel is in both hands. Ugh.

Annnnd the inlaws canceled because they got 9 inches of snow. So now they are coming up after the shower. I know they can't help the snow, but now we have FOUR defrosted steaks and I freakin hate steak. ICK.

I am having Shredfest 2010 on the couch and cleaning up a lot of our old paperwork. Mister finished installing the trim and is now filling nail holes and sanding. He also installed a beautiful new light in our hallway. Replacing the heinous 1940's one. You would think it was all cute and retro, but no. So that is gone and we have a gorgeous bronze and marble one up. Very pretty.

Anyhow, looks like it's going to be a day we get a lot done.

Freedom!

Mom goes home today! We are taking her back to my sister's so Mister can help do some heavy chores at her house. While we are up there I am getting my hair cut! Not colored. That will have to wait till afterward. I am not going out of my way to avoid toxins just to rub them all over my head.

Assuming(OMG stupid carpel tunnel) I don't pass out from exhaustion we are then going underwear shopping. And maybe for two or three outfits. I am thinking about something like sweats that I can wear around the house. Ok my stupid hand really hurts.

How it is going in moneyland

Pretty good. Aside from the sadness of a New Year, New Deductible- which meant we had to pay 110 dollars at the pharmacy this week, our first month of disability is ok. We have more money left than month, with all our bills paid.

I only made about 650 dollars this month. Eww. But, even without that we were fine and would still have had money left over. So we are feeling cautiously optimistic about our budget when I have no money coming in at all. We found a way to shave another hundred off our monthly bills, so that is good. I wish we had some kind of idea what Sea Monkey was going to cost us.

The wild cards are how much more Mister will get in his paycheck once Sea Monkey gets here, and I am not working and what size raise he will get. He got an awesome review, so I am hopefully even with the crappy economy he will get at least the same raise he got last year.

I will still be getting paid through May. Hopefully our tax return will be something to get happy about. Mister thinks no, I think yes. We are feeling two ways about our medical bills. Mister thinks we did not spend enough to get to write them off. Which is incredible to me. Since it felt like all we did this year was spend money on medical bills. The anesthesiologist alone was 300 dollars from when they took out my polyp, then Mister's hospital bills, all my prescriptions, not to mention our 20 dollar co-pays every time I went to the RE. And I was going up to three times a week for months. I just think he needs to look again.

But all in all, it's ok so far. We spent a loooooong time planning for this, so that we would not have a change in our standard of living. I am kind of excited to see how it works out-because I am a budget loving dork.

Chocolate milkshake

I would like a chocolate milkshake. A real one. One that is so thick and cold that there are ice flecks in it. I would like it made with super premium ice cream. I would like it in a pint glass.

I would like a warm, fudgie, chocolate brownie. Baked by me. With marshmallows in it. I would eat the first one out of the pan, standing next to the stove. Then I would put one in a bowl with vanilla ice cream on top.

I would like a piece of chocolate cream pie. Yes I would. With chocolate curls on top of gently whipped cream.

I would like an oreo mudslide, I want to drink it while wearing a low cut shirt that my husband looks down. I would like to flirt shamelessly with him while drinking it. I would like to be able to follow through on my flirting. Afterward, I would like him to go out and get me General Tso's Tofu, with sticky rice and broccoli with garlic sauce. Then I would like to snuggle with him on the couch and watch a cheesy movie.

I would like a fresh canolli, filled with smooth ricotta, with a touch of amaretto and just enough chocolate chips to make it interesting.

I would like a cupcake. A HUGE, vanilla cupcake with vanilla buttercream, made with real butter and flecked with Tahitian vanilla beans.

I would like a bowl of sticky toffee pudding, mounded with whipped cream, and a strong cup of coffee.

I would like a dozen petit fours. I would like them to be made with almond paste, have apricot jam, and a bittersweet chocolate glaze.

I would like to eat fresh raspberries and cream while someone rubs my feet.

I would like a plate of tiny eclairs and cream puffs, freshly filled with real pastry cream and then I would dip them into a warm ganache with a silver fork while I lay in a bubble bath listening to opera.

I would like to eat strawberry shortcake in the park, laying on a checked blanket and staring at the clouds while a warm breeze tickles my cheek.

I would like an ice cream cone, with chocolate sprinkles, filled with pistachio gelato that I eat while walking by the sea.

I would like crepes, a mountain of crepes, filled with banana and nutella, and glistening with butter. I would like these at a table filled with friends, where everyone has just one more till there aren't any left.

argh

"I'm going upstairs to lay down."
Mom- "Dear, I'm sorry if I talk too much."

Soooo I said " Jesus Christ Mom I am just going to lay down."

Maybe you had to be there. Maybe I just want to freakin lay down in bed. Maybe you DO talk too much and I am politely hiding from you instead of telling you to shut the fuck up. Maybe I am the asshole and you are my devoted Mother who wants nothing more than to make this easier on me and I am a spoiled brat. But I don't think so.

33 weeks

Holy Bananas! Mister is on a big push to get everything done in the next three weeks, just in case. My shower is just under two weeks away. My blood pressure is pretty good, although my blood sugar is creeping up a little. We have an ob appointment next week, and the next(last?) ultrasound is in two weeks. I am fantasizing about cookies. I read it could take up to six weeks for my blood sugar to normalize after Sea Monkey gets here. Which is sad. BECAUSE I WANT COOKIES.

I am reading all my cookbooks so that I can look at pictures of dessert. Then if I find something really good, I mark it off to make for the open house. I am compliant with this diet, but I cannot WAIT to get off it.

3 days down

5 to go. Holy Mother help me get through this.

A fine example.

Our coffee pot makes 12 cups of coffee. The doctor said if I could tolerate it, I could have a tiny bit. I have a teeny coffee cup that holds five oz. of liquid. So four oz. of coffee and 1 oz of milk. I use a teaspoon of sugar. I get this fabulous treat IF my blood pressure is low and my fasting blood sugar is low. I get very excited about it. I have it with my high protein breakfast and feel civilized.

So if our coffee pot holds 12 cups of coffee and I drink 4 oz. of it, you would imagine there would be PLENTY of coffee for Mister and Mom, right?

"Dear, are you having coffee today?"
" Yes, Mom."
"When?"
"Well, I can't eat for another half hour."
"Oh. Well I guess I'll just wait to have some more coffee so there is enough for you."
ten minutes pass.
" Dear? Well I'll have another cup, and then there will still be plenty for you. I am going to have half a banana on my cereal, should I have the ripe banana or the yellow one? "
( Now, personally I think you should eat the About To Die Banana but that is mere logic)
" Have whichever banana you want Mom, I will eat the other half."
" Oh, these ripe bananas are too small to share, I will have the yellow one. "
(If there are two small, ripe bananas, WHY .....nevermind. )
I make my breakfast, one scrambled egg with cheese, my teeny coffee, my teeny milk, half a banana and half a mini bagel. There is still ABUNDANT coffee in the pot. Mister drinks about two and a half cups, I drink about half a cup, that means Mom is drinking about seven cups of coffee in the morning. I would hate for her to run out. Especially since making more coffee is apparently out of the question.

After our long and tedious coffee and banana discussion, Mom has mercifully gone to shower.

Another enjoyable exchange we had today was.... CAT POO DISPOSAL
How many cats has Mom had? Mom has had seven cats over her life.

"Dear, what do you do with the cat poo if the cat kicks it out of the box?"
( I inhale. Deeply.) " How about getting a paper towel and throwing it into the garbage? Is it messy? "
"No dear. Do we have more paper towels?"
" There are more in your bathroom."
" Oh. Well I just wanted to dispose of it correctly."

We have also had the Do I want another glass of water discussion( four times a day) How about a pillow(every four hours) Is there anything she can do to help?

Yes, please. Please dust, please vacuum, please load the dishwasher, please wipe down the counters and sweep the floors and de-fur the couches. EXCEPT that each of these tasks would require a 25 minute conversation and recap. So, NO. Just sit there and make me crazy.

And now... Mom insisted on going out to smoke in the gale we had this morning. And slipped coming into the house. And thinks she did something to her ankle. I told her to put her foot up. Nooooo. Too sensible. Why elevate your foot when you can let it get as puffy as possible? She is just limping around. Do I sound like an asshole? Maybe I am. But my giveashitter is broken.

Mom got here yesterday.

Let the passive aggressive games begin. I am ALREADY counting down the days till she leaves.

I just don't like her. I never will like her. No matter what happens she is just nails on a chalkboard. Sometimes I can enjoy being with her, but sometimes...


I am trying to stay calm. I am having mixed results. I think I am going to have to pretend to take a nap everyday. Good Christ.

You have to experience her to really understand. But she makes me crazy. She makes Mister CRAZY. I can only be thankful that three years ago when she got sick we had no idea that it would be like this. Because I could not have taken her home with me. I could not have. I would have left her in Florida. And she would have died, and it would have been an awful mess. But at least it would not have dragged on for three years.

On the plus side, she is so self involved she has no idea I don't like her. Do I love her? Well, kind of. I suppose? I guess so. I feel a responsibility to take care of her because she is my Mother. I would not put her in a nursing home unless she was a danger to herself or us. It is far, far easier for me to be with her when she is sick. I can change her depends, bathe her, feed her, run errands, organize doctors, fight with doctors, do laundry, she is much easier for me to deal with when she is ill.

Our relationship is such that if you had told me we would ever share a home again I would have accused you of smoking crack.

When she is healthy she makes me nuts. My sister can't deal with sickness, and thinks I got the harder deal taking care of Mom in the beginning and when she relapsed. I think she has it harder dealing with a healthy-ish Mom.

She talks to me like I am an idiot. " How is my little Mama?" She fusses. I hate fuss. She cannot stop talking but never says anything. The idea of being trapped with her, 24/7 for a week is depressing.

One of the most comforting things anyone ever told me was that when your own Mother is crazy( for real crazy) you do a great job as a parent because you know what not to do. I can only pray that I will be the normal amount of annoying to Sea Monkey.

This was a pretty whiney post. But I can't whine to Mister about it because he will worry about my blood pressure and send Mom back to my sisters. And she needs a break. So in fair warning, this blog is probably gonna be Mom-Capades for a week.

Well then

I am heartened to know I am not the only Kevin Smith fan approaching parenthood.

Yesterday, I did indeed poop a little. But there was quite a bit of blood. YAY. I am actually considering an enema. Good Lord. I don't know how they work, but how hard could it be? I am going to give the colace a couple more days before I move on to waterworks.

Who doesn't love an overshare?

In happier news, Dad and Stepmom gave us the travel system we registered for yesterday! I am telling you it is AWESOME. You can steer that sucker with one finger. You can open it one handed. As many features as it has, it folds up pretty small. We are in love with it. It's the Chicco Cortina key fit 30. I heart it. It is awesome. It does everything but make me lattes.

So now we have the bassinette, the pack n play, the stroller, the car seat, the bouncer, the mattress, and the crib. We are in business. We have blankets and clothes. We have toys. We have books. Mister and I were just staring at it and saying " We have a stroller. We are going to have a baby to put in the stroller. Incredible."

My shower is just about two weeks away, though I am not sure what we might get there, since most of the above has been delivered here. I think soon we have to start washing the clothes.

We got some Hershey's kisses for Valentine's Day and I keep walking over and huffing them. As opposed to Christmas, we actually decorated a little for Valentine's Day. Not too much, but some. I wanted a wreath for the door but could not find any that seemed right.

Only 8.5 weeks to go. Mister is convinced I will go early. We are planning on being ready with my bag and the car seat installed by 34 weeks. Just in case.

The poor cats are bereft, the great Lock Out has started. Thunder sat outside our bedroom door and cried and cried. I was sad too.

A looooooong post

#1 My heiney is still non-compliant. Even after lots of salad, and baked beans and cabbage AND fresh fruit AND colace. Good Lord. How much poo do you have to have trapped in your body before you explode like in Monty Python?

#2 My ob thinks I have an anal fissure. And I have carpel tunnel. She wants me to get a brace to sleep in. I really can't stand the idea of being more uncomfortable than I am now, while trying to sleep.

#3 If Mister and I had any kind of sex life, which we don't, it would not have survived yesterday's conversation detailing my bloody poo, fissures, and overly firm bowel movements.

#4 My Dad and Stepmom will be here in a few hours, and I am more than a little afraid that my butt will explode from the combined efforts of drugs and fiber and sheer mass. "Excuse me, I'll be back in an hour...ignore the sounds...."

#5 I lost two pounds somehow.

#6 The ob is happy with my blood sugars and blood pressure. So that is nice. At least I am doing everything I can to keep Sea Monkey healthy. She put me on a monitor for a half hour yesterday and the little stinker kept moving.

#7 I have been pining for strawberries, and we went everywhere looking for organic ones yesterday but none are to be found. We even went to Whole Paycheck.

#8 Mom is coming on Saturday to spend the week, good times.

#9 After all the fuss about my baby shower, we hve chosen some kind of cursed date and ten people( so far) can't come. And they are ten of my favorite people.

#10 My mother in law is being ummm. She still has not rsvp'd about the shower because "she feels left out" Apparently, my sister should have called her and asked what day was good for her, and etc etc etc. Also she is mad that we register for a bassinette. Why? Because she has a 20 year old bassinette she wants to give us. Now, I love old furniture and I like hand me downs but this baby has cost us an assload of money and time and I WANT THE SAFEST FREAKIN STUFF I CAN POSSIBLY BUY. I want Ralph Nader to bless the crib. I want a new basinette. And we have one. And I am NOT using the bassinette death trap.

Plus, she is complaining that they have to drive. Plus, she did not want to agree to go until she knew who else would be there. And when Mister called her to see what the heck was going on, she did not even ask how I am. Now I am not a baby and don't need the world to hold my hand, but if you are so concerned about the shower, do you not think you should be concerned that your daughter in law/incubator is broken? And what is wrong with her finger? Because she could have called my sister herself and said "what can I do?"

If my 80 year old Great Aunts can make the two hour trek from Long Island, she can haul her butt too.

Mister was so upset after getting off the phone with her. His parents are great in many ways, but in some ways...not so much. It makes me very thankful for my Dad and Stepmom who are coming today with meals on wheels. If you want eternal gratitude bring dinner to someone on bedrest.

#11 Mister installed an adorable new ceiling light in the baby's room. We got one for the hall too.

#12 We had the breastfeeding class last night. To prove that I am still immature -when the lady was going over signs of hunger , one of them was "hands to mouth". Because I am a 14 year old boy, all I could hear was Dante from Clerks 2 saying "ass to mouth? You NEVER go ass to mouth" And I have no idea how I kept from saying it out loud.

#13 And the instructor was going over all the things that could cause milk supply problems. PCOS- yes. Thyroid problems- yes. Infertilty - YES. So I told her I felt cursed. I really really want to breastfeed. I am going to be really sad if I can't do that for Sea Monkey. She told me that I was going to have to pump all the time, and take herbal supplements, and might have to add in some formula. I told Mister in the car that there could not possibly be anything left to go wrong with me and that we were fucked. He said no, I am medicated and everything is currently under control and we would not worry till we had to.

Sooo, that is what is going on here.

If one more thing goes wrong

Anyone NOT wanting to hear about poo and poo related issues, this is your fair warning.

srsly

After no poo for five days I finally went today. Exciting! Except I had some( a fair bit) of bleeding from Heiney Land. I am guessing the Hemorrhoid Fairy paid a visit. So that's fun. I looked up the causes of them and a lot of sitting( check) and pregnancy ( double check) , and bedrest (BINGO)can cause them. They suggest a lot of water( I drink ten freakin glasses a day), and a high fiber diet. Ummm, oatmeal, whole wheat, extra fiber, three servings of fruit a day, vegetables, beans and salad. The only way I could ingest more fiber is if I start eating hay.

Sooooo I guess I do need to get some kind of over the counter pill. Mmmmmm colace. I reallyreallyREALLY don't want anyone poking around in my no fly zone. I can talk about it with the ob on Wednesday. I am so tired of thinking about poo.

Dear Heiney,

Be a freakin team player.

love,
Grumpy.

Dear Sea Monkey,

You can BET I will be reminding you of my travails when you are 15 and rolling your eyes at me.

love,
Mommy

Chatter

Just random chatter. Yesterday we picked out a new light fixture for the ceiling in Sea Monkey's room. Our light fixtures are all circa 1948. Which is sometimes charming and sometimes...not. So we picked a snazzy new one for the nursery. Hopefully it will be installed before The Rapture.

Mister is nesting. I am not. I am sitting on the couch. It would be great if Mister would just read my mind and do what I want. No. He has his own list of MUST BE DONE BEFORE BABY. Our lists don't match.

I want the nursery done and I want it done NOW. He wants to put up wainscoting. If I never hear that word again, I will be a happy woman. While I am sure it would look nice, my darling husband has never finished a project in our time together.

I am unthrilled at the idea of him installing that. Because he never finishes. Finishing to me means, all the equipment is put away. All the garbage is outside. All the loose ends are tied up. Finishing to HIM is 80%. This is where almost all our fights come in. And for Christ's sake, there are plenty of OTHER things to be done. But he wants to. He REALLY wants to. And I doubt his handy man capabilities. And I never think he can do Anything. And blah blah blah. Well, possibly if there was not a bathroom sink sitting upstairs waiting to be installed since LAST MARCH, or if the backyard was not filled with the ramp he INSISTED on taking apart, I might feel differently.

Now, if you want something assembled, he is your guy. He loves that. But I am not picturing success with the friggin wainscoting. I am picturing scraps, dust, holes in the plaster walls, tools, I am picturing it taking weeks.

I love him, I do. But I also KNOW him. And while he has improved he does not FINISH. Sorry, but I am trying not to get into this with him. Because he is excited and I am a killjoy that doubts him. Or, from my perspective I have nearly eight years of experience in things Not Being Finished, so why would this be different?

Anyhow, I am going to call the ob today and see if I can wheedle her into letting me leave the house tomorrow. We got hockey tickets, really GREAT tickets. I also want to see if she will let me go to the hair salon. Because I am a mess.

We have a jam packed week, an ob appointment, breast feeding class, my Dad and Stepmom are coming with Meals on Wheels and Mom comes for a week soon. Also the crib is supposed to come this week and the pack n play. Hopefully the delivery person will push it in the house for me. Otherwise it is going to have to sit on our stoop.

Numb

Haha! I woke up this morning with something else wrong with me. Hurrah! My right hand was numb off and on more or less for an hour. I have been having very stiff hands in the morning for a month or two. We got a stress ball. So I will bring it up with the ob on Wednesday.

We watched the baby movie this morning. Mister is painting the nursery as I type this. My Dad and Step mom are shopping for the stroller system, they just called to verify that they were looking at the right one. They want to see it before they buy it. We are very, very lucky. All of our expensive items are getting bought. The crib, the stroller system, the mattress, the bassinette, the pack and play and the bouncy seat are already taken care of.

Which is wonderful. The most expensive thing we will have to get is the dresser and the diaper system. How lucky are we? Soooooo lucky.

Daddy and my Stepmom came to visit again yesterday, bringing Meals on Wheels. As they call it. Which was awesome. They brought lunch and dinner and enough leftovers for days. I am gonna freeze some. Do you know my blood pressure is lower when I have company? I guess I am happier. Andrea came to see me this week too, and we had a lovely visit. Her wedding is going to be so much fun.

The baby has chosen 7 a.m. as his most favoritist time to kick me. Haha baby. I would really prefer to sleep as late as possible since I have no reason to get up. Sadly no. Up at 7 like it or not. This child must take after the Austrian branch of my family. Early risers and super productive.

I had a very nice week except for the fartglobe day. Ugh, that hurt sooo much. I have NEVER spent so much time obsessing over poo. If my brain had a top ten list, poo would be at least #3( or #2 hahaha).

In $$ news, my disabilty payments should start two Fridays from now. I will get 80% of my pay back dated from New Years Eve. After six weeks, it will switch to 60%. That will be till the baby gets here. Then maternity is 60%. Plus my two weeks of vacation.

The house is coming along. In a few hours the nursery will be finished with the blue and white paint. Then Mister is going to attack the mural. And thank goodness, because the crib is on the way and we will be able to set it up. Holy God we will have a crib!

Mister was kissing the baby this morning and asked me if I ever thought we'd get here. I said no way. I figured by this time we would be choosing a convertible and installing white carpets. I really did, I even designed the Mini Cooper I wanted online. I figured we'd be planning our child-free trip to Ireland.

He said our dream was coming true. He is right. We are both still afraid of something going wrong, but so excited too. I am off to have some lunch.

Snowglobe

I have been up since around three am. I thought I might puke, or that maybe it was preterm labor. But no. More prosaic than that. I have heinous gas from dinner. We had white chicken chili. It's never given me a problem before.

Argh. I woke up Mister and sent him for my ultra strength tums. Argh. I am still crampy. When he came back to bed I told him I had been up since 3. He said he could believe it because the bedroom was like being in a snowglobe full of farts.

Which gave me a case of the giggles I could not stop. I just kept picturing this toxic snowglobe. I still feel pretty funky. I got out of bed so he could have some unscented peace. At least Sea Monkey has quieted down, it felt like he was doing headstands on my vagina.

Meh.

Things I would DO right now, if I could

I would scrub the fridge.
I would pick up the damn pumpkins that Mister has been ignoring for months and dump them in the trash.
I would finish cleaning my car.
I would shampoo the carpets.
I would go see Sherlock Holmes.
I would COLOR MY HAIR.
I would go to the Hersey Hotel with Mister and eat cheesecake in bed after sex. Then we would go to the spa. Then there would be more sex.
I would actually want sex. I cannot possibly imagine it was ever something I was interested in. Poor Mister. Even if I could,which I can't- I don't wanna.
I would shave my legs and be able to see what I was doing.
I would perform some personal hygiene that I can't see to do but am desperately in need of.
I would go out to dinner with my husband.
I would go to the museum. I would walk for more than15 minutes without needing a nap.

Mister and I were talking last night and told him that I'm pretty sure I am gonna stay on this diet after March. I just want a bigger breakfast, coffee,and dessert. I miss coffee. Coffee is friendly. Coffee is comforting. Coffee is delicious. Coffee makes me feel nice. I miss dessert. I miss cookies and milk before bed. I miss ice cream and pie. I miss making dessert and surprising Mister with it and then cuddling on the couch.

But I think I might stick to the rest of the diet. Because I want to lose all my pregnancy weight plus ten pounds. Which I think should be no problem. Do you know Mister has already lost five pounds since New Years on my diet? He eats larger portions than I do and has coffee and some chocolate and beer but is pretty much eating what I am.

I am going to bake and bake and bake once this GD is gone. I want to bake something super complicated. I started planning the menu for the Welcome Baby open house. Mister is laughing because it is all desserts,but I want it to be all desserts. Because that will keep people moving. If we serve hearty food people will be more likely to stay all day. Which is not what I want. Two or three hours and out the door for someone else. Plus, it will look pretty. Plus, a dropped lemon bar or chocolate chip cookie will not make the mess that dropped sausage and peppers would. Plus it will be easier to serve. Cake and stuff can sit out and won't need a lot of attention.

Things I would eat right now if I could

Peter Pan peanut butter and grape jelly between two toasted waffles.
A real croissant, fresh from the oven and dipped in melted butter.
A real danish. Actually several real danish, cheese, prune and then another cheese- with a large Dunkin Donuts coffee with half and half and sugar.
Warm chocolate chip cookies with ice cold milk.
Pumpkin pie with cinnamon whipped cream.
Milky darjeerling with sugar, and some Danish tea cookies.
My blueberry scones.
My Grandma's pineapple upside downcake- with whipped cream.
My other Grandma's 7 layer chocolate cake.
Those Girl Scout cookies with the coconut and chocolate.
A vanilla milkshake.
A lavender milkshake.
A large glass of Ovaltine and some Christmas cookies.
Cocoa Crispies
My panna cotta with fresh berries
Raspberry creme brulee
My french macaroons
My 7 layer Italian cookies
Blueberry pancakes with cinnamon and sugar.
Baked brie with apricot preserves.
My pistachio gelato.
The cheesecake from room service at the Hotel Hershey.
A Tastykake coconut pie.
Two slices of coconut custard pie from The Shore Diner in Egg Harbor Township.


What I am actually going to have at 10 o'clock. Some herbal tea. I swear to Xenu, if this gestational diabetes does not go away when Sea Monkey gets here I AM GONNA BE PISSED.

It is getting easier.

The house is clean enough. The kitchen floor still needs scrubbing, and the carpets need shampooing but it's clean enough. Mister started painting Sea Monkey's room. We had a 50/50 shot with painting, we initially painted it pink. Ballerina pink. Now it is getting painted a very pale blue.

I am settling in to the couch. It doesn't start to make me crazy till around 8 and that is because I get so tired of laying here and my body starts to ache. I have a pattern to my days.

I get up before Mister leaves for work and take my thyroid medicine and my blood pressure and fasting glucose. Then an hour later I have breakfast. Usually I read for the first two hours. Then I take my blood pressure and blood sugar and have a Yo Baby yogurt. Then I watch tv or play on the internets for two hours till lunch. Then lunch. Which is leftovers from dinner the night before. Today I am having tacos and black beans in a low carb tortilla. Surprisingly, the low carb tortilla is every bit as good as a real one.

Then sometimes I take a nap. Or make phone calls. Then two hours after lunch I take my blood pressure and blood sugar and have a snack. Usually a low fat cheese stick and six Triscuits. Yesterday my blood sugar was pretty low (71 and my target is 80-120 after meals) so I had a clementine too.

Then I read. Or watch teevee. Or do my one chore. Today I am dusting the bedroom. I was supposed to do that yesterday but was too tired. I washed the dishes yesterday.

Then Mister gets home around 6:15 and I am THRILLED. Of course, I am always excited when he gets home but now it's like HURRAH! A GROWN UP! TALK TO ME! HOW WAS YOUR DAY IN THE OUTSIDE?????

Then Mister makes dinner. Tonight we are either having stir fry or white chicken chile. I am leaning toward stir fry. We have a lot of odds and ends in the fridge.

Then we watch teevee. Then around 8 I get twitchy and lie down. Usually I fall asleep and Mister wakes me up to take my last blood pressure and blood sugar measurements. Then I have my nighttime snack and go to bed.

Repeat 64 more times and the baby will be here. Tomorrow is 9 weeks to go.

I am re-reading the Mitford series with great pleasure. They are lovely reads, and very soothing. I have also found an herbal tea that if you pretend a tiny bit,tastes like apple cider. It's Celestial Seasonings Apple Cinnamon. No sugar necessary. Although I imagine some caramel and whipped cream would be delicious.

so then

It was a nice visit. A loooooong visit, but a nice one. My stepmom saved the day by sitting with me and helping me finish registering. I feel like a pig for picking out so many things, but at least people have a variety of stuff to choose from. They brought lunch and dinner with them, and we had a good time. I got pretty exhausted though.

Mom and my sister are coming today and Mister is meeting his brother at a brewery for lunch. The cats are going wild over the new toy we got them. It's a two story house with toys hanging from it and two hammock-y things. They love it.

I am going to take a shower and then maybe a nap. My name stands for EXCITEMENT.

frustrated

My house is not clean enough. There is a ton of laundry. I hate treating Mister like a servant. He just does not understand how to clean. And I am trying not to push him because it is going to be just him for 10 more weeks. But JESUS CHRIST. He asked me today if he was doing enough and I said that it is very hard to take care of an entire household by yourself. Plus, since a lot of it is so new to him, it takes him longer. And he gets fighty when I tell him what has to get done. But then he does not want to upset me and I don't want to get upset so it just sits there.

I just want to do it myself.

I sound like an ungrateful bitch. Maybe I am. But I am just so unhappy looking at all the stuff that has to still be done. The floors need to be washed, there is laundry to do, the sheets need to be changed, the nursery has to be painted, we never finished registering, there are still a ton of pictures to be hung, all the Christmas presents have to be put away, the bedroom needs to be swept, I could go on and on and on.

And I don't want to overburden Mister who has work, and errands and bill paying and chores and all of the above crap waiting.

I washed the dishes in the sink this morning, I could not stand it. There were three days worth of dishes sitting in there. I know I should not have. I took the laundry to the basement, I know I should not have. I am DYING to wash the kitchen floor. I can't stand it. I have to stand it, but I can't stand it.

Another gold star for me

All went well at Dr. High Risk. They were very nice. We were there fordamnever. Well, two hours. Sea Monkey is 3 pounds 6 ounces. Which is nice and average. Yay average! Mister thinks Sea Monkey will hit eight pounds if we go to 40 weeks. If I ever needed an incentive to adhere rigidly to this diet, it is the idea of pushing out a LARGE baby. No thank yew. Average is just fine.

My placenta is still hanging tight in the front of my uterus. And Sea Monkey is whacking the crap out of it.

So everything is as well as can be. I will say the picture the tech took of Sea Monkey is not the cutest. The angle makes him look like he has a really big forehead. But they said everything is measuring fine, so it must have been the angle.

I have another ob appointment in two weeks. And I see the specialist in six weeks. I have to call in my blood sugar results every Monday. So my schedule is wiiiiiiiiiiide open. Just me and daytime teevee.

I am pooped.

A sugar free gold star for me.

My ob appointment went very well last night. The doctor was very pleased with my blood sugar and blood pressure readings. I have them all tracked on a nice little chart. She said I should not need to go on insulin after all. Which is great.

We asked our questions, and she lifted some of my chains. I can dust but not vacuum. I can do a little light housekeeping but I have to be sensible. Today I am brushing the cats. Yeehah!

No, I may not have any chocolate. She did say I could have some waiting at the hospital for after Sea Monkey vacates my premises.

She said our odds for a c-section are the same as anyone's right now.

And she said right now we should not have to worry about early delivery. I am trying to look at this as GREAT FOR SEA MONKEY and not 10 weeks on the couch instead of six.

If we try to get pregnant again, this will almost surely happen again. Mister and I were talking about it in the car and we want to see how bad it gets before we make any decisions. If the worst came to the worst, we could always put Sea Monkey in day care for a month or two.

I have been cleared to drive myself to my own doctors appointments. Which is a huge relief.

We are allowed to go to the two parenting classes we signed up for. One is pain management and one is breast feeding.

Mister has been de-chocolating the house. We are still awash in truffles and Christmas cookies. But I am guessing all the company we have coming ( next week Andrea?) will take care of that.

Sea Monkey is quite content, and kicking a lot. He is all ready for his pictures tomorrow. I wonder what he will look like?

The delirious thrill of leaving the house

I have a doctors appointment tonight at 6 30. I will have shoes on for the first time since New Years Eve. I will walk! Score! Is there anyone out there that actually enjoys bedrest? Because I am about a week away from naming my pillow and having a conversation with it. Maybe Mister can bring me home a coconut and I can play Castaway. I can name the coconut Ms. Coco and we can have tea parties. Excluding the tea, and the cakes, and the cookies. So basically water parties.

This week is jam packed with excitement, Thursday we see the specialist and have Sea Monkey's ultrasound. I am very excited about that. Hello? Sea Monkey? Mommy is bored out of her damn mind and looks like a slattern.

I have tried to entertain myself with the enormous Sephora set my sister got me. But it's really hard to apply makeup lying down, and one handed. The effect is much more Mimi than sultry layabout.

Mister took one look yesterday and said " what did you DO to yourself?" I told him it kept me entertained for ten whole minutes.

Today is an epic tradgedy in bedrestland. I dropped the remote under the couch. I can't reach it and am not allowed to lift the couch.

I compiled a list for the ob today, if she can't answer our questions, hopefully Dr. High Risk can. I tried to put more stuff on the baby registry, but nothing seems right .

Friday my Dad and stepmom are coming. I am of two minds about that. They are pretty finicky about clean houses and how you treat a guest. I know they understand, but I still feel very awkward having them come to an unperfect house. Mister is doing his best, but he really has no idea what he is doing. I clean the bathrooms and the kitchen and do all the stuff he would never think to do, like scrub the dish drain or sanitize the sponges. He does the bills and cat litter. I am serious when I say the man has cleaned the bathroom once in five years. Which is normally fine.

Saturday my sister and Mom are coming for a visit. They want to bring me presents, but I can't focus enough to read, or watch a movie. I asked for maternity pajamas since I am getting too fat for my regular pajamas. Mom is getting me slippers too, even though I hate slippers. They make my feet sweat. But it is chilly in the house, so maybe I'll like them.

I told them not to bring any diabetic candy. I don't want Sea Monkey getting those chemicals. My diet will let me have those things, but I would prefer not to.

I have been looking hard for some silver linings.
#1 Thank God I am home with my cats and not trapped in the hospital. I would hate that.
#2 Since I lay down all the damn time I have much less swelling in my hands and feet.
#3 Since I lay down all the damn time I feel Sea Monkey move a lot more. I don't know if this is because I am lying down, or because my blood sugar is under control. I did notice he didn't move for HOURS after the glucose tests.
#4 I am not at work. I like some things about work, but most things... no. I just wish I could still be at work and healthy.

I told Mister last night that I never imagined this. I really thought we were past everything. I never thought I would seriously end up being an incubator/couch potato.

I am really afraid of a c-section and the long recovery time.

I am afraid of what this means if we try to have another baby. How could I lay around and have Sea Monkey running rampant through the house?

laying around

Things I am wondering about.

Will the Wookies come and take me as one of their own, since I have not been able to shave in weeks? Seriously, it is getting nasty.

Will I end up in the hospital?
Will I have to get a c-section?
Will I cry soon if I don't get some chocolate? I was doing fine until Mister brought me a left behind Christmas present. A beautiful box of truffles, which he says are delicious. Sadly all for me, but none for me.


Because this diet is boring. I am sticking to it, but it is not the most thrilling menu.

My blood sugar has been fine, I spoke with Dr. High Risk's office today and they said my sugar levels are fine and I am doing a good job. I am fully asking on Thursday if I could please have one chocolate a day. Pitiful? Maybe, but I am asking anyway.

I can't seem to do a damn thing to control my blood pressure. It's better if I take a nap, but since I have to do stuff every two hours I can't just nap whenever.

Mister is off all day Thursday, thank goodness. Because the house is a mess and everyone is coming here. Daddy is coming Friday, Mom is coming Saturday and I think Andrea is coming next week.

I HATE THAT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. It's worth it for Sea Monkey, but it would be easier if I did not feel fine. I feel fine dammit. Well, except for the nagging headache.

What is going to happen next?

Update

I spoke with the ob this morning. I am on bedrest till the end. No work, no errands, no chores. Just up for a shower, the bathroom and to get lunch.

I am trying not to think about how the house is going to get clean, and ready and how poor Mister is going to have to do everything from the grocery shopping to the laundry. He hates grocery shopping.

I called work and dropped the bomb on them. Mister is off delivering my jug o' pee to the hospital, and then he is swinging by Trader Joes for groceries. I still have to plan our menu for this week. Maybe white chicken chili, since we can eat that for a few days. Plus it is easy to make.

I am saving the thrill of taking a shower till later.

But at least now we know. And I have parameters so that if my blood sugar or blood pressure get too high I know when to call. I am guessing Mister is going to have to apply for FMLA so he can ferry me to my appointments.

We told our parents. Daddy is making me a care package. Hopefully I can make it to 36 weeks. That is what I want. A fully baked Sea Monkey. Mister is pretty calm, considering I was supposed to be working another two months at least. Well, this was in our budget too. It is unfortunate but since I have a two hour commute plus tolls, we should come out not too terribly after disability.

Who knows?

We will just have to hold on and ride the ride.

Ok, I'll try and get it all

Disclaimer: I am tired. I have a headache. I am typing at a weird angle so I can stay lying down.

Yesterday morning in the shower I got a bloody nose. Since the shower was nice and hot and steamy, it was hard to stop the bleeding. I got out of the shower. I spit up blood, I turned my stomach and threw up blood. * See, this is why they HAVE to wipe off Sea Monkey.* I knew nose bleeds could be a sign that my blood pressure was high. And I have been to the ER on a holiday before so I wanted to avoid that. So I called my ob to see what she thought.

I left a message with the receptionist, telling her I did not think anything was wrong but that it seemed dumb to decide that for myself. I told her I would head into work, since I had to go that way anyhow if they wanted to see me.

On the way to work I saw some stars when I turned my head, and I got a slight headache. I still had not heard from my doctor. But I did feel fine to drive, so I kept going. Did I mention Mister forgot his cell phone at home and was in a big meeting and I could not get in touch with him for and hour?

So I went into work, and called the office. I said that I was waiting for the return call, and they asked me what was up. After my new symptoms they asked where I was and when I told them around the corner, they said come in.

I went in.
My doctor said my blood pressure was a little higher than last time, and my blood sugar was over 200 from the 2nd glucose challenge. She said I failed spectacularly.

Then she said I would be going on insulin without a doubt. Then she and the receptionists figured out where they could send me on New Years Eve so that I would not have to be admitted to the hospital. So they found me a high risk doctor and sent me over there to get a glucose meter and have someone show me how to work it. I asked if there was anything I could have done to avoid this and my ob said no, my response was so bad that there was no way I could have avoided gestational diabetes.

Which made me feel a little better. A little. My ob said Sea Monkey sounded fine.

Sooo I went to the high risk office and got my blood sugar tested and got a fancy glucose meter and a prescription for more test strips and stabby things. Then I registered, made an appointment for the coming week, and headed off toooo... Labor and Delivery.

They wanted me monitored. I finally got a hold of Mister who went into full panic( he insists it was slight panic but no.) He left work and I made him promise no speeding.

So I got hooked up and they monitored my blood pressure and Sea Monkey. Actually, it was awesome to be able to listen to Sea Monkey for hours. I did not get tired of hearing his heart and movement. It was wild to hear a kick and feel it.

They took my history like three times. Annoying. Mister got there and had almost run out of gas.

Soooo I was there till 6 pm. I had not had anything to eat since 10 am. I was allowed to go home on modified bed rest. Whatever the crap that is. We had a ton of instructions on what to eat and when, but no one seemed able to define modified bed rest.

I drove home and we went out to get my prescriptions and food that is on my new and stricter diet.

I have to monitor my blood sugar and blood pressure four times a day. I just now finished my 24 hour urine collection so they can test it for protein. So we have a big jug of urine in the fridge. Tasty.

I felt fine enough to tell Mister he should go to the movies. I am couch girl. Stay on my left side couch girl.

I suppose we won't know any more till we get the pee test results. So I have no idea how long I am gonna be stuck here. I guess that is everything. My blood sugar is not terrible and neither is my blood pressure. So we will see what we see.

Crappy New Year

I have to go back to bed, and I will try and get on tomorrow. But I am on modified bed rest. And I have to monitor my blood pressure and blood sugar. And I am collecting pee in a jug. We still have to tell the fam. I was too pooped to think about their fussing.