So anyhow.

Yesterday after dinner Peter did this epic wet fart.  It sounded like a cross between coffee brewing and a drain.  I did not think much of it except to let Mr. know he could be proud that our son ripped a good one.  Then there was another.  I took a peek into THE DIAPER OF DOOM.  Oh fuckmewithabentdick. IT WAS INSANE.  I have seen some nasty diapers in the last 18 months, but this one was special.  It was like those see through gravy separators where the fat shoots up the spout, except it was not gravy in there. 

What followed was somewhat like watching two pinballs race around in a box banging off walls. We needed bleach, garbage bags, a tub, to bleach the tub, to fight about the best way to get Peter naked as everything had slid up his back to his armpits.  I recall that happened when Peter was a tiny baby, EXCEPT NOW HE EATS PEOPLE FOOD AND THAT IS DIFFERENT. Of course, all Peter wanted to do was put his hands in his mouth as I tried to hold him in some kind of yoga pretzel pose so Mr. could squeegee the poop off him. 

Then we took his temperature, he was ELATED to have more stuff happening to his butt. 

Then Mr. ran out for pedialy.te and also brought me home a huge fruit and nut chocolate bar.  Which I downed like a shot though you might think I was tired of looking at the color brown by that point.

This morning Peter got the BRA.T diet( are crayons part of the B.RAT diet?) and was acting like he never heard of shooting liquid poo-brownie out of his butt.  He was unthrilled to be under house arrest, but the idea of Poo Part 2 while away from home was not...appealing to me.  He is napping now.  On top of everything else he has a mosquito bite on his FACE.  So I had to give him bene.dryl.  So he was cranky, tired, punchy, etc.  It was a mixed bag of a morning and I was watching the clock for nap time so I could sit my fat ass down and eat pie eat a healthy meal for our growing baby.  Peter would not go to sleep though he was super tired and he kept giggling and making me giggle and then I would say "No. Nite Nite"" And he would beep my nose and then we would laugh.  So basically it took 40 minutes to get him to sleep because we both kept fooling around.

Speaking of baby, I think I am feeling the baby move.   I think.  It is much earlier than I ever felt Peter, so maybe the placenta is where it belongs this time?  I have been feeling some pokes.  Unexplainable by anything but our turnip sized child.  Which is very nice, though hard to believe.

Shark baby

Peter had his dental checkup today.  Lemme take this moment to tell anyone that does not know that your ped is WRONG to tell you to wait till age three, and that a child should really go to the dentist beginning at age one.  After all, they are eating food just like we are.  Peter's dentist has found cavities in babies as young as 8 months.  Peter had no cavities and SURPRISE all his two year molars are in.  Teeth, we has them.  She said we should be getting a break from teething for at least a year, but that since Peter has gotten so many teeth so early that he will likely get his three year molars earlier than normal as well.  It took me , the dentist and the assistant to keep Peter still for his cleaning and fluoride treatment.  The poor little man has been getting poked to bits with the ped and the dentist this week.  He also has a chipped front tooth.  Who knew?  Not me.  Probably from one of his many launchings from the couch or faceplants on the sidewalk. 

I got the call back from Dr. High Risk's office today.  They said my blood test was negative for anything they could screen for.  Which is good.  I asked the nurse what our odds were, or if they were unable to give us odds since they could not measure the baby's nuchal fold but she did not know.  I looked online and it said the quad screen catches 60% of Down Syndrome babies and 80-90% of neural tube defects.  Soooo, I suppose I would call myself 60% reassured. 

I wish we could have a more definite answer, but we did the best we could.  And we are going to be at a really great hospital with a level 3 NICU, in case there is something wrong that could not be seen. 

My next ob appointment is in 8 days, and the BIG ultrasound is three weeks from today. 

The weather is STILL crummy here.  I never EVER cared about the weather before like I do now.  Because rain= bad day and cooped up child. I watch the weather report like other people watch the stock markets.  Do you know it has been three and a half months since we turned off Peter's tv?  It's going just fine.  I just figured I had not mentioned it in a while.  He has seen snippets here and there when we are visiting people and they have it on, or if he wanders in when Mr. has a football/baseball game on.  But that is very rare, especially since we do not have cable anymore so it's not like we could watch many games anyway. 

18 month appointment

Welll it went ok.  Except for the part where Peter's nap was all jacked up.  Or the part where he fought like an angry bear to keep the doctor from checking his ears. 

He is 25 pounds and 31 inches long.  His doctor said not to worry for now about his whole HATE TO EAT THING. Like today.  For breakfast I gave him half a mini bagel with cream cheese.  He ate a quarter of it.  Later I offered him goldfish-no, a fig newman-yes, a bit later I offered him some of my peanut butter and jelly.  He tried it.  No thanks.  Then for lunch I made him home made mac and cheese-mmm protein and calcium!  NOOOOOO.  All he did was laugh hysterically as he smacked himself in the face with a spoonful.  He conceded to eating a half cup of cheerios.  That's it.  No fruit. No vegetables.  Nope.  At least he will drink milk.  And now I have to clean the kitchen.  GRUMP.  I am so tired of cooking and shopping for him only to have everything end up wasted.  We have the most expensive garbage on our street.

Back to the appointment, he got his shots and we talked about things that I worried about like Peter's headbanging and food refusal.  Everything looks good though she said if he is not talking more by his two year appointment that they would get him a speech therapist.  He says "no, up, this, that"regularly and frequently.  But not mama or daddy or cat or ball or milk or anything like that.  I asked her if it was a big deal and she said ( Mr. and I agree) that she was not worried because the words he is using are more complicated than mama and dada.  Sometimes he will say a word once or twice and never use it again, like banana, water, crescent, yes, and down. He has said all those once and then never repeated them.  I don't know, my personal feeling is that he does not give a crap or need to say mama since I am always right there. 

He is asleep FINALLY.  Fuck ALL people, I am tired.  So tired. And the house is crazypants.  And the kitchen is also crazypants. And I think I might get take out for dinner because I cannot face the idea of standing up and cooking and then cleaning. At least I know he will eat the meatball sandwich from down the street.

My ankles are giving me a lot of trouble.  So swollen.  And so uncomfortable.  The idea of going for a walk is repellent.  We did actually try and play outside this morning but there were too many mosquitoes.  Christ Almighty.  All the rain we have had has really really made it bad. 

I asked the ped. if she had any idea what would be best for Peter if I went back on bed rest.  She said he could handle whatever we decided.  She said some kids bring home everything from daycare and some don't ever get sick. She said Peter is pretty healthy and that he is not there a lot.  But then he might bring home stuff that made me sick too.  YAY.  I love it when there is no right answer. 

17 weeks

Tomorrow is 17 weeks.  I keep telling my husband that 17 feels like so many weeks.  A really long time.  And there are only three weeks left till the half-baked mark.  Which is scary.  Or exciting.  Or both. Peter's 18 month appointment is tomorrow.  And his dentist appointment is Wednesday.  And then not quite two weeks till the next ob appointment and three till we get the gender scan.  So I guess a lot of waiting around.  I hate having four weeks between ob appointments.  I thought I had one sooner but I was wrong.  Yuck.  I have gained 3 and a half pounds.  In symptom land I have almost constantly swollen ankles.  Last night my boobs hurt, but that went away, which is fortunate because Peter head butts me all the time. 

I still feel really distant from this pregnancy.  I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  How crazy am I?  Well, you decide.  I pooped three times today( my long time readers will know that constipation is my most glamourous pregnancy symptom) and instantly thought "three poops?  Is something wrong?  Maybe the baby died and I have no progesterone left and that is why I am pooping."  Yes, I am paranoid.

I have been stress eating.  Not the best idea, but since stress drinking is out of the question, I'll have to stick with food. 

Peter is PERILOUSLY close to climbing out of his crib.  Which is scaring me. A lot.  I am having problems laying him into his crib because my stomach is beginning to get in the way.  But turning his crib into a toddler bed... the end of naps, the end of showers unless Mr. is home, the end of security.  He is smart, but not smart enough not to get hurt in our creaky old house.  Will he climb out and play in his room?  NOT FREAKING LIKELY.  He prefers to climb on his air purifier, knock over his fan, jump on the guest room bed, play with the plunger etc potential broken arms and legs and NECKS and drowning and just worry.  

But he has been super darling also.  Now when you put him to bed he blows raspberries on you.  And he seems to be picking up a couple new words a week. Or at least they seem like words.  And he is making up all kinds of imaginary play.  Like feeding all his toys and giving them rides on his trucks and using one of his toys as a catapult for other toys.  Haha.  He has this little tool bench and it comes with a hammer that you use to hit a nail- causing another nail to pop up.  He puts a toy on the nail and whacks the other nail, sending his toy flying.  He also "reads" the newspaper now.  And will sit for really long books, like all the way through the real Peter Rabbit, and The Magic School Bus and other books that seem extremely long for an 18 month old to be interested in. 

16 weeks

Which is crazy.  Mainly because that means in four weeks we will be half way there.  WHOA.  Mr. has been on me to do less and rest more and I am going along with it.  Mostly because if I do too much my ankles swell up and don't hurt enough for a pity party, but do hurt enough to be annoying. 

I have  the second blood test on Friday, I have no idea how long it will take to get our results.  Probably a while.  Mr. and I are treating this trimester like the third trimester, just in case I end up on bed rest in December.  We have not made a list of stuff to buy, but really know that we don't need much.  We are fortunate to be able to re-use Peter's car-seats, bassinet, most of his clothes,etc all my old maternity clothes since it is the same time of year, and we are not changing the nursery.  I really like the shade of blue in Peter's nursery and changing the color just to change it seems dumb.  We just need a new boppy( Peter's boppy did not survive the many MANY washings because of all the barf from his acid reflux, a crib, a dresser( we will do like for Peter and put the changing pad on the dresser),a gymini(same barf problem), and some slings.  So we might spend 1500.  I am THROWING myself on the mercy of my fellow PCOS shaped readers.  I will do a full post and a link on LFCA when we get closer to shopping time.  I am a size 18 in typical PCOS formation.  And I am clumsy.  So no fancy ring things that you have to weave fabric through.  I am one of those people that can't tie a wrap skirt or stuff like that.  No way am I fussing with that for a sling to carry my baby.  I just want something I can put on and slap that poor baby in and then CHASE Peter without worrying.  Or worrying too much. And without constant re-adjusting. 

We are giving Peter a big boy room for Christmas, when we move all the nursery decorations out.  If you're curious, we are doing it in American Flag theme.  Not because we are highly patriotic, Peter just loves flags.  A LOT.  So perhaps he is patriotic. 

My stepmom told me she will come back here from their new home SEVERAL states away if I go back on bed rest.  Which is a relief.  Mr. told me we might not be able to afford to put Peter in daycare as I had initially planned if that happened, because we had so many extra costs related to the last time I was on bed rest.  You know, extra trips to the E.R., extra monitoring, extra prescriptions, abundant bills from those clowns at the high risk doctor.  Which were manageable but not necessarily on top of day care.  And since our deductible will re-set while I head to the 3rd trimester, we will have to start at the beginning with that too.  UGH.  So, we'll just have to see what happens.

My personal feeling is that while I might dodge high blood pressure this time around I am pretty damn likely to end up with GD again.  In that my hypoglycemia and PCOS did not magically go away in the last two years. 

I am again hoping to dodge a baby shower.  Because I still hate them, if we have a boy I will absolutely NOT ALLOW a baby shower.  NO WAY.  NO FREAKING WAY.  Everyone was so generous at Peter's shower.  We don't need more swag.  I would feel guilty, greedy and TACKY.  So tacky.   If we have a girl I would be ok with a small one, since while I tried very hard to buy gender neutral for Peter a lot of stuff does not come gender neutral.  We figure if it is a girl we will get her a couple of outfits for company and pictures and then just have her wear Peter's clothes.  Because seriously, who cares?  She won't know.  And I recall distinctly having to change Peter's whole outfit upwards of five times a day because of spit up.  She might not be in any one thing long enough for it to matter. 

It's odd to be so uncertain of this pregnancy and yet plan this far ahead.  Much farther ahead than I ever allowed myself with Peter.  But Mr. and I do not want to get caught like we did last time, we me unable to help and trapped like a beached whale on the couch.  Once we get past 20 weeks we'll bring up all the clothes and rewash and resort them.  And clear out a shelf in the kitchen for bottles.  Assuming this baby will use them, Peter never did take to them.

Snappy title

Yeah.  I'm all over the place.  Peter turned 18 months yesterday.  He is so awesome.  So smart, and cute, and funny.  And ACTIVE.  I feel like I am parenting a future Olympian.  He does not stop, ever.  He has been eating terribly lately.  If it does not improve in a couple days I am gonna take him in and get him checked out.  But he is finally talking more, he says NO(all the time) yes(if prompted), meow, neigh,star, and up.  Or more accurately "up, up, UP". He is also getting better at going down the stairs.  Which is a huge relief to me, since I really need him to learn to do that before I am too clumsy to carry him. 

I had a meltdown in the car tonight.  We were up at my parents and Mr. let it slip/my other sister in law figured out that I am pregnant.  Then it was 20 questions about did we want another, aren't we excited, etc.  Then my SIL( who is a darling person in general) asked( loudly at a volume comparable to singing Happy Birthday To You at a T.G..I.Fri.day's) in a crowded kitchen while I was trying to find Peter's fork before he decided HE WAS NOT GOING TO EAT, AGAIN if "I was going to share my NEWS with everyone??!!"   I was not really in the mood for some big dramatic statement, because I purely hate that kind of thing and REALLY A LOT hate that much attention focused on me, AND REALLY A LOT am still worried about this pregnancy so basically NO I WAS NOT PLANNING ON TELLING AN ENTIRE DINNER PARTY'S WORTH OF PEOPLE ABOUT MY PREGNANCY BUT THANKS. Because now they all know and I look like an asshole but I need to feed my toddler right now, not ignore him and run around while he is hungry. 

And so it was awkward.  Because I guess I was supposed to act more joyful or excited or I don't know however the fuck normal people act. Which ok fine I GET THAT I AM PARANOID. I GET THAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. AND I FUCKING GET THAT I AM A BIG WET BLANKET BECAUSE NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT HOW BABIES DIE SOMETIMES. BECAUSE I GUESS THAT IS A FUCKING DOWNER.  But they do.  It happens.  I do not have any special magic to keep it from happening to me. 

On Friday I was really mad at my sister.  What the fuck does I DO NOT WANT TO TELL EVERYONE mean?  Does it mean JUST KIDDING?? Does it mean, TILL YOU ARE TIRED OF IT? Or maybe it means FORCE ME INTO TELLING ENOUGH PEOPLE BECAUSE I AM IRRATIONAL AND THEN I WILL MAGICKALLY ACT HOW YOU WANT AND WE CAN MAKE A WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE FA.CE.BO.OK PAGE ABOUT IT.

Soooo when she got here with her friend that is visiting from France, she said immediately "I did not tell D. your NEWS" I gave her my death look. Then she brought brie and I said I could not have it and she said ' I did not tell her WHY." Please again imagine the TG.IF.R.IDAY'S volume.  Then later she said " I guess you have figured out our NEWS." So I did not know what do to.  I was really angry with my sister for putting me in that position.  So I told D. because frankly as livid as I was with my sister, it was not poor D's fault and she is not a moron and was a guest in my home. 

And then later my sister was prompting me again with much put upon sighing to tell my Mother.  I said NO.  NO NO NO.  NO. 

And I guess it was too much for me. So tonight in the car I asked Mr. how it came to be that he told
( Mr. ALSO told our neighbor without warning me and she came racing into our house and I was Really. Not. Prepared.  ) I know it is his baby too, I know.  Anyhow, he said he thought she knew already and he figured everyone must know by now.  And that I am paranoid and that he was not worried one little bit about anything and that the pregnancy we lost was early and we had fixed so many things that were wrong with me, and  everything was going to be fine and that we are 97%likely to have a baby and that not telling people won't change what happens.  But everyone we tell we would have to UNTELL.  So I said that I was worried.  And then he was going on trying to soothe me but really it was just having the opposite effect.  So I started to cry and said it just made me terribly nervous to tell people and then he said we did not have to tell anyone else. But really, I know that too many people know now and they will not be able to shut up and it will never even occur to them to shut up.  Because after all, ONLY OTHER PEOPLE'S BABY'S DIE.

Plague

Well, kind of.  Peter has diarrhea.  It was here yesterday and then cleared up, I gave him pedialyte and rice and crackers and banana for dinner.  He was DISPLEASED.  Then he was up three times in the night, but I don't know if it was because he was hungry from the lame rice and banana dinner or if he did not feel good.  His temperature is a little higher tonight.  I am debating on if he should go to the ped.  I called them today and if The D is still here tomorrow then they said to bring him in.  But he only had one( large) episode yesterday and one (small) episode today.  Argh.  Who knows? 

On the plus side he has been in an excellent mood, you would never know he was sick.  Except for right after he woke up from nap and all he wanted was Mommy.  Which was nice because normally I am just his pit crew, filling his sippy cups and chasing him with snacks as he runs and runs and runs. 

Mr. started bowling again today.  SIGH.  On Diarrhea Tuesday.  This is his last season for at least a year, because hopefully in the Spring our new baby will be here and there is No Freaking Way I'm gonna let him stay out from 8 30 a.m. till 10 p.m. while I chase Peter AND play cow.  No way.  Bowling night is already a circus with just the two of us. 

Peter is crying and not sleeping.  Off I go to soothe my poor monkey.

So. Much.

yogurteverywhere.  WOW.  Just. Wow. 

OB Appointment

It went well.  My doctor could not find the heartbeat at first, which was scary.  But after some hunting she found it on the right side. We were in and out of there super fast, and the drive was not so bad.  I was worried about driving in a storm but the rain held back for the most part.  Peter is in his crib fussing while I hope against hope that he falls back to sleep, he took a half hour nap in the car.  HOPING.  Sleep Peanut, please? Please??

I have not gained anymore.  I have only gained a pound total so far, and had gained two by this point with Peter.  So that is good, and my blood pressure Peter is SO not sleeping is excellent.   My ankles are swollen every day now, and I looked at my blog and they were swelling at this point with Peter, too.  we busted out the snoogle last night. I asked my Dr. about mu back pain and she said it was sciatica. She said I could wait and see because it is different for everyone, or I could go to physical therapy, or I could go to a chiropractor. I am going to wait and see, SO NOT SLEEPING because it is only bothering me occasionally.

My next ob appointment is on October 5th.  I have a long post about how horrible a couple of days Peter and I had, but I don't know that I'll ever be able to relive it.  It.Was.Terrible. At the end of the day yesterday I told Mr. that I was going to lose my mind.

Tired. A whole new level of tired.

I remember being tired when I was pregnant with Peter.  I remember being tired chasing a toddler. 

This is new.  Toddler plus pregnancy knocks me right on my ample ass.  On Monday night I fell asleep at 8 30, as soon as I kissed Peter good night.  I went to our bed and lay down and fell asleep in my clothes and everything.  I woke up at ten and took my prenatal and brushed my teeth and put on pjs and then went right back to sleep.

Last night I tried to stay up a bit, because there was stuff to do around the house. I fell asleep at 9, sitting up on the couch with a bowl of cantaloupe.  And stayed that way till 2 30 a.m. when I got up and took my prenatal, etc. 

It's 1 30 now.  Peter is napping.  I want to nap but I HAVE to cook dinner.  Donwanna.  Gotta.  And then clean it up so that I can fall asleep at 8 30 again. 

Tomorrow morning is my ob appointment.  Where I am hoping everything will be fine, and then Peter will nap in the car.  UGH.  I hate hate HATE when I have an ob appointment because since it is an hour each way Peter sleeps in the car and then is up till bedtime.  No break for tired Mommy.

Even with the drive I don't want  to leave my ob's practice.  They are awesome and I trust them.  And I am sure as hell not switching to someone local that would use out shitty local hospital, or worse have to use a hospital in Philly.  HELLLLLLL NO I am not driving to Philly.  I will drive the extra 40 minutes and suck it up.  It's just exhausting knowing that I have to wrangle Peter all day without a break plus drive for two hours. 

That is the thing that strikes me most about being a stay at home mom.  Since I am the care giver there is no one to watch Peter when stuff like this comes up, or I get sick or whatever.  If I were working I could take a half personal day and see the dr. WITHOUT having Peter tickle my feet in the stirrups/throw crackers around the exam room. 

Hopefully when I get farther along I will be able to leave Peter here with our neighbor.  She is off on Mondays so I can try and schedule for that. 

I can't stall any longer, have to go make shepherd's pie.

Well, here we are chilling out in the second trimester.

14 weeks today.  I feel fine.  I got really tired yesterday chasing Captain Insaino around my sister's house while Mr. installed a new light for her.  And my feet and legs are starting to bother me, but nothing to get too dramatic about.  My next appointment is on Thursday with the ob and then the 23rd I have a blood draw and the next ultrasound appointment is in four weeks. And then the 20 week ultrasound after that, so assuming everything is fine I will only have to go about two weeks between appointments for the next eight weeks, which will be reassuring. 

Telling my sister and brother in law went fine, my niece and nephew are elated at the idea of a New Sea Monkey.  My poor niece, haha she asked if the baby would be here soon and I said nope, we have to get through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, NYE, and Valentine's Day.  Which is  basically an eternity when you are nine. Mr. told his parents in a text.  Which is hilarious to me, so impersonal.  But really, we are soooo not going to their house and they never come here.  My Mil-hole sent me this really nice email.  Which I viewed suspiciously, because hello, it is her after all.  I sent her a nice one back, but not because I believe she is going to be un-crazy but because Mr. deserves for me to give that pill every chance.  I realize the fact that I am calling her my mil-hole and a pill demonstrates that I do not actually trust/believe her.  But she does not know that, so on the off chance that she has climbed back into reality I am making nice. I know it hurts Mr. very much that his parents are so distant and so if they can fake it I can too.

My sister and Mr. were pressuring me a little to tell Mom.  I put my foot down on that one.  I will have LESS crazy in my life, thanks.  I actually look less pregnant now than I have in weeks because I am not constipated any more.  I take two colace and a pre-natal with a stool softener and my digestive tract gives up the goods, more or less.  I only took one colace with Peter but I am not risking getting another fissure. EWWWW.  That was AWESOME.  Anyhow, since I look less pregnant without the POO BABY I figure I can hide a bit longer.

Today

Today we are supposed to go tell my sister and brother in law.  I don't want to.  I am so afraid to.  I am still so afraid of losing this baby.  And then dealing with the crappy things that people say. Or worse, the nice things that people say and then I will cry. Mr. told our next door neighbor last night without warning me.  She burst screaming into our house and asked me if it was true.  I said yes.  She was so happy for us, which made it more real but also more scary.  The more people that know the more real it is.  I wish I was some ignorant young girl that could go into this with an open heart. But my heart is sealed tight against this child to protect myself.  I was so crazy last time.  I can't ever be that crazy with grief again if I can help it.  With Peter I never felt safe, not till he was out.  And then I never really relaxed till I felt like he was safe from SIDS.  Now I rarely worry when he is asleep.  I never open the door to check on him.  I do not feel the crushing fear of losing him that laid so heavy upon me, weighing down every joy with what might happen.

But if this baby is real than this baby could be lost too.  And telling people takes away the thin wall of privacy that I can hide behind if something goes wrong.  The fear is around every corner like an old woman warding off the evil eye. 

My next appointment is on Thursday.  And I am trying to rationalize waiting till after that appointment to tell more family.  Except I know nothing will change.  And Mr. will sigh again and tell me I am paranoid.  Which I am.

belargh.

It was lovely to see my friend and her super adorable baby yesterday.  I wish I could have sent her to our guest room for a nap, but there was no way I could have handled the both of them for more than ten minutes. 

Peter was jealous for sure.  Not of me holding the baby, but more in a "HEY I AM THE ROCK STAR HERE LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" way.  He took the baby's bottle, pacifier, and toys and climbed into his car seat.  Hilariously, Peter kept putting the pacifier in his mouth to see if we would stop him, he never even used a pacifier.  And, ignoring me wanted my poor friend to read to him while pumping and holding her son.  He was very interested in the baby, who seemed interested in him too. 

Peter was also fussy off and on, I think the antibiotic is not agreeing with him.  On that note HE WAS INSANELY CRANKY TODAY.  Capping off his morning with a huge and epic tantrum after threatening to have one all day.  Now he is asleep.  God Almighty. 

I did something to my back yesterday.  I am pushing myself too hard, but what else can I do?  I did a lot of cleaning and cooking lifting yesterday.  Then at night Peter was tormenting  Thunder who had had just about enough of Peter's shit.  So I leaped up to intervene and something did something in my very lower back.  It's right around the base of my spine/top of my butt and the pain goes down my right leg.  But only sometimes.  Mr. said " Well if you hurt your back you'll be useless."  Which was accurate if not tactful.  Then he told me I did too much.  Well, this stuff has to get done and he is back in school.  Who else is there?