It's been a while. Which is understandable. My plate is full. My heart is full. My life is full. Our darling Allie is 8 months old and so happy. So often I look at her and know how different it could have been.
Everyone is asleep and I should be making cranberry jelly. But I'm not. I'm thinking about last Thanksgiving. This time last year I was 22 weeks and had just had a glowing report from my dr. And then two weeks later everything would hit the fan. "Don't Google" those were my instructions to everyone. I did because I had to and because I could not stop myself and each week after Scott and I would tick off one less worry as she hung in and grew. And stayed. Our Grand Finale. When I dreamed of three children I never thought it would take nine years. But here we are . And I am thankful.
Every year someone stumbles across my blog on Thanksgiving. Maybe by accident. Maybe full of the despair I carried with me for years while I waited and hoped and worked for this family. To you I say, it is ok to feel how you feel. It is ok to hate me for being on the other side of infertility. For having what you want. I hated people too. You are why I keep this blog up. You are why I post. Because there is life on the other side of infertility. Sometimes with children and sometimes not. But it is there. Here is mine.
Everyone is asleep and I should be making cranberry jelly. But I'm not. I'm thinking about last Thanksgiving. This time last year I was 22 weeks and had just had a glowing report from my dr. And then two weeks later everything would hit the fan. "Don't Google" those were my instructions to everyone. I did because I had to and because I could not stop myself and each week after Scott and I would tick off one less worry as she hung in and grew. And stayed. Our Grand Finale. When I dreamed of three children I never thought it would take nine years. But here we are . And I am thankful.
Every year someone stumbles across my blog on Thanksgiving. Maybe by accident. Maybe full of the despair I carried with me for years while I waited and hoped and worked for this family. To you I say, it is ok to feel how you feel. It is ok to hate me for being on the other side of infertility. For having what you want. I hated people too. You are why I keep this blog up. You are why I post. Because there is life on the other side of infertility. Sometimes with children and sometimes not. But it is there. Here is mine.
