A moment of quiet

Finally.  Peter has a piteous cold and has coated our house with a film of snool.  That's snot and drool.  yum.  The day before he got sick he took the longest naps ever.  And he has been a fussy fusspants from fussytown ever since.  My poor gumdrop button.

He had his nine month appointment yesterday, he got a shot :(   I was expecting him to weigh 23 pounds but he weighs 20 pounds 1 ounce.  He dropped from the 50% for weight to the 25%.  His doctor said she was not concerned yet because he was still gaining.

Last week we fed him chicken and stars ( Earth's Best) and in the few minutes it took me to get him from his highchair to the changing table he broke out in red spots.  On his face, neck and chest- there were a ton on the back of his neck.  They faded toward morning and we kept a veryclose eye on him for a few hours.  He had a similar problem with oatmeal and a delayed but similar reaction to yogurt.  He had no problem with half a jar of oatmeal but the whole jar broke him out and he had had yogurt many times before.  I called the allergist back and made him an appointment for the 11th in Philly.

Have any of you had this happen?  I have a ton of allergies and have never broken out in spots.  He had one spot on his chin that was more like a welt.  The only thing he had never had before in the chicken and stars was wheat.



I am pretty nervous to feed him anything new.  But he has to eat. Ugh.  He is crying in his crib now.

Do you know, this time last year I was on bed rest?  Wheee, who doesn't love a New Year's Eve in L and D strapped to a monitor?   I am home tonight since Peter has a cold and Mister is about to leave to go to the same party we missed last year.  It is weird to think that last year I was pregnant and about to spend the last trimester couch surfing. 

I am of two minds about Mister going out without us. On the one hand, I don't give a damn about NYE.  Whatever, it's all the same to me.  On the other I am really afraid of him driving an hour each way with all those drunks on the road.  I told him that if he gets killed tonight I am going to be FURIOUS with him.  I had a friend die in a car accident, it stays with you. 

I really should clean the house.  I really should go to bed.  I really should write some more coherent post about how thankful I am and how I snuggled my snufflysnottysnoring baby and told him he was my favorite.  Because he is.

CD 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!  YAY! My first period since June 2009.  I am so excited!

Snowbound

Wheeee! We are warm and snug while it blows like crazy outside. Poor Peter is in bed with a cold( sinus infection?) no temperature yet just a ton of mucus. yum. He is still happy, just snotty.

Our Christmas was for the most part, delightful. Family, fun, food - presents up the ying yang. My sister brought down TWO CARLOADS of presents.

A lot has been going on, and I am sick-ish too so I might sound a little delirious.

The party- not as well attended as my RSVPs led me to believe. Work with me here, RSVPing in the affirmative means you will be attending right? Anyhow we saw the people we wanted to see and Mister got a ton of stuff done around the house and so did I. And the house was clean( super clean- I polished the freaking chandelier and we waxed the floors)the cookies were baked, the presents were wrapped all well before Christmas so we were able to just enjoy the days before instead of running amuck.

So I had 26 people come- which is not bad. But I got RSVPed to have about 35- annoying.
I would do it again, but I would do it for 2 days and not five. By day 3, I was READY for a break.

Christmas Eve we went to a HUGE party and Peter had a fabulous time, though it is likely that is where he picked up his cold. There is no way to know for sure.

My inlaws sent us this awesomely passive aggressive card. It was signed "Mister's Parents" Can you imagine if I sent them one signed "Mister's Wife"? Then Peter got a postcard from them that said they loved him and hoped Santa brought him lots of presents and that they missed seeing him. Like they live behind the Iron Curtain and can't get here instead of being a freaking HOUR away. An HOUR. They have not seen him in nearly seven months.

We are done fooling with them. We are not bringing Peter to that filthy house. If they don't want to come here, or meet us at his cousins's house or at other family gatherings that is their problem not ours.

We invited them to Christmas brunch or dinner and they did not even say yes or no. Just... nothing till their annoying card came.

Oops, I hit publish. Well, I'll just keep going.

Soooo We found out at 4 30 p.m. on Christmas Day that Mister's brothers were coming here for dinner. My Mother in law had only 1/7 of her actual children at Christmas dinner and my Father in law was sulking so we wouldn't go to dinner either. I am sure it was an awkward, quiet dinner. I felt a tiny bit bad for her, but she surely reaped what she sowed.

Still muy occupado

Very busy over here at Casa de Celia. Today I have errands and laundry and cleaning and baking and cooking etc etc forever and ever amen.

I really should not be blogging right now because I have an assload of things to do. But I am sitting down dammit.

Anyhow two more days left of the party and I am ready for it to be over. WHAT was I thinking? I wasn't. Duh.

Anyhow, this is a lame update and I have to sprint off to laundry land and clean some cat puke. yum.

I am effing BUSY

I am only able to blog right now because I can't walk on our freshly waxed floors till I dry off a little.

We washed and waxed and buffed our floors by hand. I am DYING. I hope Peter learns to walk today cause I can't lift my arms. Well I can, but it hurts like a MOTHER.

I am deep in party prep. I woke up at 2 a.m. Saturday into Sunday and went downstairs to start my gingerbread house. I have 3 ( I made 4 but I ate half of one this week) loaves of zucchini bread, 2 of cranberry nut, 1 of plain pumpkin, and today I am REMAKING 2 pumpkin cranberry spice. Why? Because my family ate two loaves. Well one and some. I don't mind( really) because that is flattering. I also made a double batch of sugar cookie dough which is resting in the fridge till Tuesday night, and a double batch of rugalach dough which is in the freezer.

Today I am making the last two pumpkin breads, and if I am lucky I will finish the gingerbread house. I also have to grocery shop, and clean one of the bedrooms.

Mister took the hideous sink out of the upstairs bathroom, but it is taking a couple of days to get the new one in because the tile has to dry, our house is a pain in the ass and a million years old and everything always takes longer than you think.

In addition to reducing our bathroom to a temporary pile of rubble( do not ask about the dust) Mister has also helped me with the floors, and rearranged the living room and put a fresh coat of paint on the front door and put up some more shoe molding around the house.

Well, I suppose I am dry enough, off to my endless list.

WOW

Someone found my blog looking for " nau.ghty o.b.gyn vid.eos". I bet they were sadly disappointed. NOTE TO PERVERTS: WTF?

Also, for the person wondering if they should use their year old rice cereal, would you want to eat year old cereal?

And for the person looking for round ligament pain, 11 days after ovulation. I'm sorry boo but that is too early.

Yikes.

The party is getting ever nearer, and I have each day plotted out on our wall calendar so I get everything done on time. Of course, that does not take Peter into account. Today we are going to the library, the drug store, and the grocery store. Then I am making a double batch of zucchini bread.

We are kind of effed because there is a 19 pound turkey in our freezer. I was so careful to clear out the freezer for all my party jazz and now Big Bird is in there. I am scared to cook it. It's enormous. Why does a turkey seem so threatening? It IS dead, after all.

In Peter news, yesterday he started rolling a ball back and forth with me AND giving kisses. My phone died and I am pretty sad because there was an AWESOME picture of our cat Shaggy in a pair of reindeer antlers on there.

Peter is teething AGAIN. I can't tell which one, because he won't let me look in his mouth and if I pry it open he sticks his tongue out. He has some bad diaper rash which he never gets( except that week when we used cheap baby wipes we got at the shower) and loose poops and is chewing the world and fussy SO FUSSYCLINGYCRYING. Poor little man. Ugh. He was up 12 hours straight on Tuesday. I gave him a half dose of motrin the last two days before bed.

It is damn freezing here. Out house is so cold no matter what I put the heat on, because we pulled the carpets up and the cold air is coming up from the basement. Peter had a jacket on in the living room yesterday.

Dear Internets,my baby smells like pasta.

Do you know why? I don't. I thought I was crazy when I was kissing him and thinking"noodles, mac and cheese" I figured my love of carbs had finally affected my brain. But Mr. smelled it too. Mr. thinks it is all the drool. How can drool smell like pasta? In my lame googling I came across a reference to a yeast infection smelling like pasta, but the inside of his mouth is not white.

He does have this gross ear stuff in the top curve of his ear, but his father has the same gross ear stuff and does not smell like pasta. I figured he inherited his father's nasty ear crud gene. I reallyreally don't want to call the pediatrician who already thinks I am paranoid and ask her this. At least not without some kind of clue. He was just in there on the 19th or 20th of November and they looked and his ears were fine.

Oh mighty internets do you have a clue?

Unplugged...still

Well, we've been doing pretty good. Yesterday Peter did not take his afternoon nap, and I was pooped so we watched Caillou. Who is a whiner. No more Caillou. But other than that, we are doing well- just a sign language video that we watch together.

Sometimes I keep Peter on my lap if I am trying to get the grocery list together or directions or a recipe,etc but not major.

My resolve is strengthened when I look across the street and see my neighbor's teevee on all the time. Plus, we pay our very last cable bill this month! YAY!

We played trucks yesterday, he loved all the beeping and crashing sounds. And I gave him a wooden spoon and a bowl to bang on. He really wants some new toys but I am trying to hold out since he will be getting a MOUNTAIN of them in just a few weeks. I have to go buy him some clothes today though, he is busting out of his pajamas and he needs some warmer shirts. How can he be growing out of 12 month sleepers when he is eight months?

I have so many errands today after being in the house for four days straight !

Update

Things are going really well! Peter Pants goes down with not too much fuss by 9 p.m. I keep trying to get him in bed earlier but we have family dinner around seven, and then bath book, boobie,bed. So he is in his crib by 8 30 and usually carries on for half and hour. Sometimes he goes right down. He still wakes in the night, anywhere from once to four times. But frankly, who gives a shit? He is sleeping in his crib!

He wakes at 5 a.m., but I think that is because he is not going to be early enough. I am not sure how to get him down any faster and still have family dinner and his routine. I would like him in bed by 7 30, but I have not been able to do it. According to the book, if his normal wake up is 5 a.m. then he should go to bed at 6 p.m. Which is crazy. But we are still settling him into his routine.

Naps are coming along too, yesterday he took a two hour nap and a 45 minute nap. IN HIS CRIB. Crikey! He has been sleeping about 45 minutes, I am hoping he stays down till 1 30.

The book says Peter should go down for a nap 2-2 1/2 hours after he wakes but when we do that, Peter screams and has a crappy nap. If I keep him up 3 hours ( yesterday I had to keep him up five hours) he seems to do much better.

We are chugging along getting ready for Christmas and our cookie party. I am about to go cook dinner. I don't feel like cooking tuna casserole at noon, but I know I will be happy later. Yesterday I made apricot pork chops, mashed sweet potatoes, and cinnamon bourbon apples.

New World update

It's going really well, while Peter fought his nap like a badass yesterday, today he went down for his first nap with no fuss and last night slept ten hours. He fussed for about ten minutes in the night, but we only had to check on him once.

My husband actually looked healthy and well rested this morning. AMAZING! Just like the book said, the naps are harder to regulate than night time sleeping, but it is still such a wonderful improvement. Life changing even.

I think the bast part is not constantly struggling all day to get Peter Pants to sleep. Because if the hour is up and he is still awake, that's it for another two and a half hours and we play and have a fine time.

I also feel like our day is much more pleasant and easier to handle. He gets up and has milk, we play, we have breakfast, he plays while I tidy, then milk and nap. Or not nap. But either way, it is much easier on all of us. I will update as we go along, but the change in our quality of life is drastic.

Maybe just maybe, A Whole Neeeew World

As everyone in my world knows, Peter is not a fan of sleep. ESPECIALLY if I am not rightnexttohimforeverandalways. As you can imagine( or maybe you don't want to imagine) it had a horrible effect on our sex life ( non existent) or wish for a second child( also non existent), our relationship, in fact everything. A while back The Elderly Ovary suggested this book( go to Sleepy Planet.com) and I thought about getting it but didn't because we had read many MANY books and tried everything, diet soothing music blah blah too depressing to go into.

This book is working. Praise EVERYONE. Xenu, Jesus, Satan- I don't care who is responsible. Just joking about that last part, if Jesus was responsible Peter would have been sleeping months ago.

Anyhow, I love this book. This book is saving us. That is not an understatement. Peter is fast asleep in his crib and it is 6 30 in the morning and he has been in there since 8 15 last evening.

We are daring to hope our lives will get back on track. Also, guess who stood up yesterday? He is very pleased with himself.

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

Ironic post title aside, we have so much to be thankful for this year. At the top of my thoughts is that Daddy is doing well. What if my step mom had not insisted on going to the hospital? Maybe we would be planning a viewing.

So we will all be around the table this year. Mom, Dad, Dad's wife( goooooo modern family!) my sister, me, my husband, assorted relatives, my stepmom's ex-husband( gooooo modern family!) my sister in law's father- your basic grab bag. But I am thankful that this year my sister is an aunt. My parents are grandparents. My husband is a father. I am a mother. it was a very long road, and sometimes I still cannot believe it.

Daddy's headed home

And thank goodness. I could not even conceive (haha) of something happening to him. How could it? My husband told me he cried twice on the way to get me and I had refused to let myself. I am not sure how Daddy's recovery will go, hopefully I will find out more tomorrow.

We brought Peter to his cousin's sixth birthday party. Worst idea ever. It was loud and crazy and there were at least 30 people there. Perhaps you are thinking duh- it's a six year olds birthday party. I had no idea, I always hid from childrens parties whenever possible. Peter screamed for forty minutes in the car. good times.

He was amazing this weekend, with the back and forth to the hospital, and restaurants and hanging out in waiting rooms and hours a day in the car.

My little doodoo is up and playing . He started crawling on Friday night after we got home from the hospital. Mr. and I were splayed in exhaustion on the couch and off Peter went. We video taped it and the house was a shambles because of Peter having a cold for two weeks, and I was in my pajamas so basically TITTEHS ON PARADE. Please let Mr be able to edit that out.

bad times

Pretty bad times. My daddy is in the hospital and has blood clots in his leg. He had knee surgery about a week ago. So he is on heparin. I am choosing not to think of what might happen. Yesterday was just awful and now Peter and Mister are crashed out in bed but I am too stressed out to sleep. We were too tired to eat dinner so it's 2 a.m. and I am eating peanut butter and jelly with a glass of ovaltine and hoping that puts me to sleep. We had a long day yesterday and today will be the same. And so will tomorrow. I wish I could clean since I am up anyway but I don't want to wake anyone.

I am desperately overtired.

Mommy and Peter...unplugged.

We are trying something new in our Quest For Sleep. I have written out a detailed schedule for Peter Pants and myself. And...turned off the teevee. It's not like I plunked Peter in front of it and danced off to paint my nails every day, but it would be on because during Titty Time at first I would be so tired I dropped my book on his head and when he was older Peter would swat a magazine or book out of my hands. Peter would watch some for a while in the morning while we ran around doing morning things. Then, maybe in later afternoon while I cooked dinner. And then sports with Daddy.

I kept remembering when I worked in daycare and on rainy/snowy days we would let each group have a half hour of teevee and the toddlers would chant "teevee teevee TEEVEE" at the age of two. Anyhow, I am not sure how I want to handle it. I read that you make your baby multitask if you have teevee on while they are eating/playing /whatevering. But his pediatrician said it was fine for me to have it on.

I don't know. But for now, he gets one enriching video a day. Sign language or a foreign language. That's it. And no more sitting on my knee while I do internet stuff like look for recipes or print coupons. I think I needed it in the beginning because I spent all day every day on the couch, but it's not like that anymore, and I don't want him to get used to it. I'm not sure how we will end up, but that is what we are doing now.

Fighting for his right to party.

My little Beastie Boy was not interested in sleep last night and I threw in the towel at 4 a.m. He has been up and playing for two hours. I had a cup of tea and a muffin. I picked the wrong week( lifetime?) to give up coffee. Oh Peanut. WTF.

Perspective

I struggle a lot with guilt now. I feel terrible guilt when I complain about parenting. I love parenting. I love his big just for me smile, and how his whole body tenses with GLEE when he likes his dinner or finds a special toy . I melt when he wails and holds his arms out for me. We sing(off key), we dance( badly), we play, we talk, we explore and I love it.

But I think anyone would have a hard time spending 10 hours a day being the sole caretaker for a baby. Sometimes I am bored, sometimes( always) I am tired. But I am also always thankful for our darling Peter. Mister and I will never stop marveling that he is here and he is ours.

I figure parenting is like going to an art museum. If your face is pushedrightupclose to a picture all you see is a blob. But when you step back you can appreciate it's beauty. And being a stay at home mom is a whole lot of rightupclose and not a lot of step back and let it sink in.

To me, being infertile is all about distance. Babies are far from you, you don't have one and it is hard to be around them. When you see them out and about they are cuddly and dressed up. They smile winsomely and families walk in a bubble of togetherness. And we are other.

Being a parent is all about being close. My son is in my arms or next to me maybe 18 hours a day. I am the one that he loves and looks for and cuddles with and laughs with but I am also the one that holds him till five a.m. because he is teething. I am the one that that gets the explosions of poop. One explosion is a funny story, three in a row is a bit much. I have not spent a night in my own bed alone with my husband in eight months. It is a very symbiotic relationship.

Parenting is not being able to see the forest for the trees.

In the wee, small hours of the morning

Peter is nestled all snug in his bed. We had an insane last couple of weeks. Peter got abundant teeth and is just getting over a miserable cold. I have the cold now, good times. Ugh, it is Snot Central over here.

When Peter started coming down with this cold I was comforted by the fact that this would be easier than the last one since he is now old enough for a decongestant. Au CONTRAIRE , they changed the rules and no cold meds till your child is three. On the one hand, BIG YES to protecting Peter Pants, on the other PITEOUS SNUFFLY BAYBEE.

So Piteous Snuffly Baybee and I hung out in a cloud of steam, leaving a slimey trail of boogie wipes and empty saline bottles behind us. I feel like he is on the tail end now, his temperature is lower and he sounds more wheezy than Darth Vadery.

In related news, I remember when Amanda had a cold and how when she took some meds it messed with her supply so I bought myself some juice and cookies and ok, chocolate covered marshmallows and am sucking it up. ( lol mucus, sucking it up ewwwww)

I bit the bullet and sent invitations on Facebook( how cool am I? Making an event and shit) to around umm 60 people for a multiday house party to celebrate Chrismahannkwanza. I treated it like a g-rated cocktail party and told everyone that it is cookies and hot chocolate/tea/coffee/cider only. No hot food to mess with. And it is only for four hours a day from 1- 5 . I figure that is a nice way to see people without being overwhelmed and it is easy for them too since they can come on Sunday or drop in during the week. It's from the 19-23, and hopefully a lot of people will come but also hopefully not on the same friggin day. I told them they have to rsvp by 12/10 so I can plan the menu.

I mean, we have to clean and decorate for Christmas Day anyway, since we will be here so that is not a big deal. I am making gingersnaps, chocolate orange drops, brownies, a coffee cake, some kind of savory muffin, Russian tea cakes, some other yet to be determined cookie, and ONE type of fancy decorated cookie. In my crazy dreams I pipe everyone's name out on the cookies which I have first piped with a gingerbread house design and then make it an adorable favor by placing it in a glassine bag- then displaying it in a longaberger basket in alphabetical order. Riiiight, that will take HOURS and Peter will be fussing and Thunder will be hopping on the counter CERTAIN that I HAVE MEAT and just need a gentle reminder that he in fact, loves meat . Put down the crack pipe, Celia.

Nevertheless, I am hoping for a merry bustle of friends. Not too many family members, because we will see them on Christmas Day and our house is small enough that I am not inviting ANYONE that might be coming Christmas Day. But I did invite some family( not MIL haha BITCH) since some are far away and my SIL is always overbooked around this time.

But I think a cookie buffet will be nice. I am a wee bit wondering how it will work out, but I am letting that go and reminding myself that it will be fine. Or at least, fine enough and Peter will be there and everyone loves cookies dammit.

Oh yes, I POS. Everyone kept telling me that urban legend BS( much love to Circus Princess who is having A BOY!!) and blah blah and I was a little worried partly because I watch that show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and partly because I took a class C drug, and have been having occasional adult beverages as well as living on marshmallows and coffee. I just wanted to be certain I was not incubating a tiny caffeine fueled undernourished sugar junkie.

So Big NEG ,and BIG RELIEF , because I had a dental x-ray too. I almost tested before the dental work but was feeling super safe in that hellooo we can't ever get pregnant. Then I had Mom Guilt and started worrying. So, that's that and Mister and I swore to Always And Forever Use A Condom even if it is pointless, just for peace of mind.

Where have I been?

Well, Peter has gotten three teeth in four days. I can see the next one coming. No wonder he has been crazy. I am about to go to bed. Hopefully Peter is going to get a breather tonight, he has been plastered to my side in bed for days. Poor lambchop.

Stealing time

Mister is asleep. Peter is asleep. But I put on a pot of coffee and came downstairs to blog. I have been giving the computer the kind of longing glances normally reserved for cupcakes or Viggo Mortensen. Or Viggo Mortensen feeding me a cupcake and then rubbing my back. sigh.

Peter appears to be cutting two teeth, and upper and a lower. He is still biting me and laughing. The little stinker. My Dad and Supermom( spell check always tells me Stepmom should be lower case and offered me the alternate spelling of Supermom- HOW AWESOME IS THAT!) came down last night for a belated birthday. They brought the horse-dog. Five cats, a baby and a rottweiler. Thunder kept trying to fight the dog and his tail was all puffed up. He spent the night teasing the dog haha you are on a lee-eash and I am free-eeee ha hahahah ha etc.

Last night was not terrible( or perhaps I was so tired I don't remember?) but the night before that was heinous. So I decided to get a third opinion and made an appointment for Peter for mid-November at an allergist. We can see him trying so hard to sleep but then waking up crying.

I am so torn. Maybe the allergist will find that Peter is allergic to something totally odd, and if we eliminate it everything will be calm. Or maybe Peter has the personality of Napoleon Bonaparte and is just extremely demanding.

We are back and forth on if we want to try again. Like..75% NO FUCKING WAY and 25% we would love another and how could we deprive Peter of a brother or sister if there was a way for him to have one. I am deadly serious when I say I don't know that our marriage could survive another baby like Peter. For all the incredible joy he has brought us, he has also brought fighting and pettiness and screaming and shouting and a lack of intimacy. It's like Mister and I are two deckhands working for a power crazed captain.

I think my husband put it best when he said that Peter is the best thing he ever made but he did not want to make another.

Over seven months of extreme sleep deprivation will change you. I remember a few months ago we kept apologizing to each other for being unkind and not being able to stop ourselves.

I hope some day Peter ( or another child of ours) does not read this and feel bad. It's not like Peter is some kind of baby mastermind trying to break us. He is just a baby and has needs and only one way of expressing them. But that is cold comfort at 10 am, 12 pm, 2 am 2 03 am etc etc FOREVER. I have tried sign language but Peter does not seem interested. Which is a shame. I'm not ready to give up on it yet. If he could just tell me "pain" or "milk" Or "Mommy" it would be so much easier.

So Peter is going to the Philadelphia Children's Hospital and I felt like an asshole making the appointment. There are children there with cancer and organ failure and it makes me feel like someone complaining about their shoes to someone with no feet. But I am still filled with guilt that Peter was in pain for the first three months. I should have switched doctors. I should have browbeaten them till they gave us Zantac. What if he has celiac? What if he has something really weird that a normal doctor would not catch? If he is sensitive to grains then that means I have been causing him pain for three months ON TOP of the first three months. Six months of preventable pain out of seven and a half months of life. I can't take that chance. Who could?

Sometimes I feel terrible using my INFERTILITY related blog to vent at how much Peter is killing us. What a dick move. I would hate me.

Biting the boob that feeds him.

Peter has been merciless about biting me the last day or two. It was occasional before but last night he was biting till I had teeth marks on my nipple. Then he would look at me and smile and laugh. He was also pinching me. Nice.

So, I would take him off and make him wait. Then he would tantrum. Then I tried telling him no biting and putting him to bed. I had to do that twice before he got serious and ate and then went to sleep. It took about an hour and a half to get him to bed last night. Eventually we fell asleep on the couch together.

Apparently he prefers to be a vampire for Halloween. I hope this is a SHORT phase.

Great, so the new pediatrician thinks I am

paranoid. Nice. Peter has had a fever off and on for a few days, and then the poo thing, and the whole no cereal and I sleep like a champ thing. I just wanted to make sure he was ok. But Mister and I did not trust his old pediatrician anymore. They gave me an attitude over the phone when I called after hours about Peter's constipation. I was not bringing him in there again.

So I had a fun filled morning looking for a new pediatrician. Cigna's website sucks, FYI. You know, I don't know that I like this doctor either. She made me feel very defensive for switching pediatricians.

Here is what I think, three months of Peter being in unnecessary pain from his reflux. Then, months of me telling them his sleeping was not normal and them telling me it was. THEN, magical sleeping after eliminating cereal. Was he allergic? Was it related to nothing and maybe something else was going on? Who knows? But I just did not trust them anymore.

To be honest, I feel like the pediatrician I saw today thought I was a whackjob. You know how you can just tell? She was giving me a LOOK. And she was saying that you just can't medicate kids for no reason and people don't like to do a lot of testing on babies and it takes time to see things are wrong. Which is all true. I agree. But I am furious with his former doctors for telling me he would grow out of this and me figuring out by ACCIDENT that laying off the cereal THAT THEY SAID TO GIVE HIM would cause such a marked improvement.

I saw on his file she wrote "clearly happy and healthy". Now, I could just be literal and rejoice that my baby is clearly happy and healthy( and I am relieved, duh) but I feel like it was secret code for His Mother Is Paranoid and will think he has typhoid/SARS/Belgian Monkey Disease .

Poonami

Well, Peter is not constipated anymore. Wheeee! We called his pediatrician last night after hours ( she was surly about it too, I am going to switch peds for sure now) and she said we could give Peter a warm bath with warm compresses, she also said we could give him a suppository. The bath helped enough that he went to sleep. Not the best sleep, but sleep.

Then next day, still no poo but a lot of straining and gas so off we went to the drugstore where I bought a suppository. YUM! What kind of idiot thinks you can get a seven month old to lay on their left side while you stick something up their butt?

Nothing happened, so I called the pediatrician. They said to give him 4-6 ounces of prune juice. I told them he had had two serving of prunes, two of peaches and one of pumpkin since Friday and didn't they think the prune juice would be a little harsh? Nope. So back we went to Rite Aid and got some prune juice.

Peter was really tired and took a huge nap( IDK why, he usually does not nap but he was out for at least an hour) but after the nap it was Prune Time.

Still nothing. However, the shit did eventually hit the fan, so to speak.

He did a MASSIVE poop which got up to his armpits and it was a huge fiasco/mess/disaster. It was on me, the crib, the changing table, etc etc. Peter got a bath and I cleaned up and then...

Peter had ANOTHER MASSIVE poop. It got all over the bouncy chair, me , the crib, the changing table, the shower, the tub, etc etc. He ws making me crazy by sticking his hands in the poop and then trying to eat his hands. AHHH! NOOOOOOOOO.

I had a mountain of laundry by this point and was running out of clean and safe places for Peter to be while I cleaned up. I called my husband who asked infuriatingly "what did I expect?" Um, THANKS.

IThis one was so bad I thought I would just put Peter in the tub and wash him instead of cleaning him and then washing him. Except he was such a mess I could not put him down and he got hysterical being in the tub with the water running. SO I carried him through the hall covered in poo and soapy water. After cleaning Peter the best I could I left him in the crib while I cleaned the bathroom and the changing table, etc etc.

Then we had dinner. PETER HAD ANOTHER MASSIVE POOP in his highchair. I cleaned up Peter, bathed him AGAIN, got him ready for bed, mercifully he went to sleep and I am now drinking a large glass of wine. I still have miscellaneous poop to clean and two loads( haha) of laundry.

I suppose I should clean the highchair. ugh.

Tempting fate

I am wearing my new pants and gently bouncing Peter on my knee. I figure this is the position he has downloaded in many times before so maybe it will work. I'll give him a laxative if Mr. Hankey hasn't shown up by tomorrow.

You know today is a totally average and somewhat boring day. And it's everything I ever wished for when I blew my candles out.

Dear Peter Pants,

You are the best present I could ever get and I am thankful every day. Yes, even when you throw up in my hair.

love,
Mommie

Well then

Last night Peter slept from 9 till 4, ate and then slept till a little after seven. Maybe it was the cereal. That's all I can think. I tried giving him some rice cereal this morning instead of oatmeal and I will try again at dinner just to see. I can't really tell if he has more teeth coming. It feels a little lumpy in there.

It's my 36th birthday today. I had a lovely/horrible weekend. A 50/50 mix. I saw AYM, I saw my sister and Peter did the whole sleep thing. However, Mister had his wisdom teeth taken out. He reads my blog, so let me just leave it at...he didn't die. Ahem.

Peter has not pooped all weekend, so I gave him prunes for breakfast and dinner. I need to go out to the drugstore but I am afraid to till the prunes make their much awaited exit.

I had him in the highchair since he usually poops there, but no poop. So now he is in the jumperoo. I do not relish the though of scrubbing three days of pent up poo out of the car seat but I want to go to the store before it is too traffic-y. I suppose the question is.. Do I feel lucky?

Opinions please.

Soooo, yesterday Peter lost his mind. In the car he screamed like he was terrified and it lasted an hour, first a scared cry and then a pain cry. I was so worried I almost took him to the ER because he looked absolutely panicked. At first I thought it was the traffic we were in, but then later I thought maybe it was gas. I decided not to give him anything but breastmilk for the rest of the night and he was so beat that we put him to bed with no bath or even pajamas. Readers, HE SLEPT TILL FOUR THIRTY A.M. He slept from 8 30 till 4 30. Then I fed him and he slept till almost eight a.m. Then he woke up happy and played until about 9 15 when I gave him some boob time.

Soooo, we are wondering if the cereal is what is bothering him. This is only the third time in his life that he has slept that well. Could he have a problem digesting oatmeal? I watch him very carefully for allergic reactions and he has not had anything close to a problem excepting The Great Yogurt Incident.

We are going to give him only fruit and breast milk today and see what happens. Part of me is like OMG WHAT IF THIS IS THE SOLUTION??!! The other part is like FUCKALL WHAT IF WE HAVE BEEN HURTING HIM BY GIVING HIM CEREAL??!!

Anyhow that's what is going down in our house.

WTF Baby?

Yesterday he was up from six a.m. fought me for two hours to take a one hour nap, went to bed at 8pm., slept till ten and then fought us till 3 a.m. at which point I gave up and took him to our bed because HELLO IT WAS THREE A.M. AND I HAD BEEN AWAKE NINETEEN HOURS WITH HIS PUNK ASS. Then he was up by seven and fell asleep at ten but when I put him in his crib he started ( and is still screaming).

This is insane. And while I can't blame Mister for throwing me under the bus while he went to sleep on the couch, it did not make it any easier. No temperature, not constipated, had breakfast and boobie, I have no freaking idea how to manage this.

Dearest Peter,

I love you. So does Daddy. Knock it off.

Weary

My body is aching with exhaustion. The past weeks success with Peter's sleeping is over. He was up every two hours from 9 a.m. til six a.m. when I gave up and made myself some tea. But I am DARNED if I am going to let him sleep on me anymore.

I figure it is more important to force him to learn to sleep on his own so I can pay attention to him when he is awake. It has been seven loooooong months of us catering to Prince Peter Pants and his refusal to sleep anywhere except with me. But SRSY guys( in my Cartman voice) the world goes on, I have to clean, I have to cook I have to do laundry. I can't just be his mattress.

He is such a lovely baby in so many ways except this. Sleep is such a struggle at our house. We are running on such a long term deficit that I can't even fully explain to people with children that sleep.

My personal feeling about people who tell you that "you can always clean later" is that they probably did not clean much before they had a baby.

he is so tired, with shadows under his eyes and just wailing away in his crib. He is clean, he is full, he is oragelled, and had two stories. GO TO SLEEP.

MLAR

Hargily Barg.

A. We pulled up the heinous carpeting( circa 1996 RASPBERRY?DIRT COLORED)
B. Peter was a sport about our errands to BRU, Lowe's, the grocery store, and Walgreens.
C. Peter had peaches! He approved!
D. Peter went to bed early! Mommy and Daddy approved!
E. Peter woke up screaming an hour later with intense pain. Teeth? Gas? TEETH AND GAS?? Existential angst??
F. Daddy slept on the couch, Mommy and Peter huddled in the bed while Peter sucked piteously and farted.
G. Peter finally allowed me to put him in his crib at 6 a.m.
H. I celebrated by doing a load of laundry, pumping milk and packing Mister's lunch.
I. Soon I can continue cleaning!!
J. I was being sarcastic there.
K. I can only hope today is calm.

So pooped

Ugh.

It has been crazybusy. We have nothing planned this weekend, so hopefully we can just relax.

Peter still is not crawling, he goes backward and to the side but nothing forward. He is pretty damn furious about it, too. He makes a LOT of noise. He is trying his hardest to grab and touch and EAT everything. He is desperate to drink out of a cup. I am going to try breakfast with him again tomorrow. Two weeks ago(?) I started giving him breakfast because he loved it, but I felt like it was making him constipated so I stopped. We are going to try again and see.

The baby book says AND THOU SHALL GIVETH THY BAYBEE TWO MEALS EACH DAY AT SEVEN MONTHS. And he is seven months on Saturday. He is also supposed to be getting cereal twice a day. He has only been getting it with dinner and sometimes I would just give him fruit or a vegetable. Sooooo we are going back to that.

I have having some major dental stuff done to me, don't ask. I am so afraid of the dentist that I can't make myself type anything else about it. I would rather have another unmedicated HSG than do dentisty stuff.

We are joining a gym. I know I have said this a lot, but I cannot believe how ass-nasty I look naked. Ugh. Depressing. God, like a melting gelatin mold. But with more stretch marks. I don't want to have THE SEX. ick. I can't, I look too terrible. Ugh. My sex drive has gone into long term parking. I have been fatter than this and felt just fine about how I looked. I seriously think becoming a mom has made me feel very undesirable. Milk is coming out of me and I always have spit up on me. Or drool. And if I take time to try and look more presentable, it gets slimed off by a drooley baby. After holding and cuddling and nurturing and cleaning all day, I donwanna even THINK about sex. yuck.

You've got to pick a pumpkin or twooooo

Very busy but...

Peter Pants has his first tooth!

Today is crazyfabulous!

Peter slept all night in his crib only getting up once to eat. Then he had breakfast and played and then took an hour and a half nap. We played and read a book, then went for a walk and he ate and then took a nap. He has been asleep... TWO HOURS!

While he has slept, I have made the bed, put away a load of laundry, vacuumed, unloaded the dishwasher, washed dishes, tidied, dusted, made a big pot of soup, planned the grocery shopping, called the dentist, organized apple/pumpkin picking for Peter and his cousins tomorrow, mopped the kitchen floor, fooled around on face.book, and am now actually blogging. WHEEE!

Oh, and pumped milk for Peter's dinner since we have company coming. Insane. I can't believe it. I have not had this much time to myself during the day since Peter was BORN.

Actually, I miss him and kind of want him to wake up. IS THERE NO SATISFYING ME???

And yesterday I cleaned out the closet. wow.

On your mark

get set, GO! That's how it is every day. RunCeliaRUN. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, pumping, wheeeee! Anyhow, I am about to put mix up a loaf of banana bread but could not resist the urge to sit on my fat ass.

Speaking of my fat ass, the scale has at least stopped climbing and begun a slow decent. I banned ice cream from the house, along with Tim Tams-if you don't know what a TimTam is...for heaven's sake do NOT try and find out or you will not fit in your pants anymore either. We were going through two boxes of Satan's Cookies A WEEK.

I have company coming or I would not be making banana bread either.

So I have five and a half months to lose 30 pounds. Well, maybe 20. But I need to lose it before we TTC for number two. Partially because I don't want to hear any crap from my RE about delaying treatment, but mostly because it is really hard to be pregnant when you start out heavy. It's not like you get any lighter. I am floating around the weight I was when I got pregnant which means the RE was satisfied with this weight, but I would like to be less.

Riddle me this troops, why if my weight is the same do I feel like such a walrus? Seriously, my spare tire is now a flat tire. I cannot even stand looking at myself naked. Or clothed, actually.

The fridge and pantry are pretty cleaned out of things that are naughty and filling up with things that are healthy.

I just cannot imagine what it would be like to be on bed rest with Peter racing around the house. It would SUCK ASS. So, the less of me there is the better.

Snuggle FAIL

Ohh yeah. This morning Young Sir woke up at 5 a.m. I picked him up and we snuggled in bed while he had breakfast. And then he threw EVERYTHING up. I think he threw up everything he's eaten since he was born. Or possibly food I ate while pregnant. It was so loud that Mister woke up scared. And then I picked up poor Peter and made sure he was ok/not choking on vomit and he did it again. I was only wearing a t-shirt and panties. And it landed ON MY v-jay. Vajazzling it with fresh WARM barf.

Sooooo at 5 30 a.m. Mister took Peter to clean him up while I stripped the bed, shampooed the mattress, we have a mattress cover but it wasn't dry when I re-made our bed:( shampooed the carpet, started a load of wash, put away two loads of laundry( cause I left em in the dryer, ok?), and chased Indiana around the bedroom. Indiana kept trying to eat loose strings off the mattress and I would chase him off only to see his little ears peeking over the far side of the mattress chomping away. Cause cat barf would have been great.

And a good thing, because when I went into the office to see Mister I found a nice fresh pile of cat barf. Thanks guys.

Then I took a shower. After my shower, Peter woke up and threw up on me again.

I hate acid reflux.

things are getting very nice

I just carried a cuddly warm bundle in yellow feetie pajamas up to his crib. At 9 :14 p.m. The last three nights have been like a dream. We have not let our guard down yet but if our 6 and a half month bataan death march of exhaustion is finally over I will cry tears of joy.

Peter is kind of crawling. Scootching? In a kind of backwards scootch. It's funny to see him try to get somewhere and end up farther away. He gets soo mad. He wipes his own face off now after dinner. Can you believe that? He is a genius.

We are buying gates on Thursday. Anyhow, I want to blog but I have to go do stuff just in case Peter Pants wakes up.

Do as I do

Something I have been thinking about for months now are the phrases "Do as I say and not as I do." as well as the sayings "lead by example and be the change you want to see in the world, and gourmets dig their graves with their teeth." I love quotes if you had not guessed.

What if breastfeeding is not enough to keep Peter from struggling with his weight as I do? What if the organic food we are feeding him is not enough? Measuring his portions so he does not get overfull? I want him to be healthy, and not healthy-ish. People who say they are healthy for their weight are just lying to themselves, fat is not good for you. It's a comforting lie but it is still a lie.

My weight is creeping up again. And that is not ok. Our neighborhood is TEEMING with fat children. Not charmingly plump children, FAT CHILDREN. 10 year olds should not have breasts. I remember growing up that I stood out and was in the minority as a chunky child. Maybe it's the food they are getting, I certainly see them outside playing a lot. Mister and I make a choice to stay far away from cheap food. Sometimes we slip up because cheap food is fast food- usually. It is waaay easier for me to grab a pop tart and smear some peanut butter on it than it is for me to cook something in the mornings.

But I have no intention of letting Peter have a pop tart. Hellll no. Or Cheerios, or JIF( really choosy Mom's choose organic) or Happy Meals or juice for that matter. I don't want any genetically modified food sneaking into his diet. But how can I expect him to make good choices if he sees me eating crap?

It is hard. I don't have a lot of bad habits but I love cookies. No, I LOVE COOKIES. C IS FOR COOKIES AND I LOOOOOOVE THEM. A day without cookies is a sad day. I actually have a cookie jar. It has home made cookies in it. Granted they are my lactation cookies but let's call a carby spade a spade. I have pumpkin pie in the fridge. Banana chocolate chip cake in the freezer. Blueberry lemon scones.

I think it started coming to a head last week when it was me in the house all alone with half an unfinished birthday cake. Home made from scratch with love- three layers of vanilla cake brushed with vanilla bean and cointreau syrup, iced with vanilla cointreau buttercream.

I thought about it all day. Every day. In the fridge. Yumyumyum. I finally told Mister to throw it out.

When I sit on the couch and Peter watches me eat- what is he learning? I take him for a walk at least five times a week, but what is getting etched into his tiny subconscious?

I know I grew up with a Dad that said raisins were nature's candy and exercised regularly but tiptoed into the kitchen for enough midnight snacks to keep him overweight. And a Mom that let us have as many twinkies, ring dings, girl scout cookies etc etc as we wanted. Mom hates to cook- Hamburger Helper helped her hamburger ALL THE TIME. She bought spaghetti-o's by the case and huge boxes of slim jims, family sized chips and soda. And we loved that shit. I would neverever feed it to Peter.

When my sister and I went to visit our Dad for the summer we would walk to the store and buy big packs of tasty kakes and vienna fingers and put them in our bottom dresser. I am sure Dad could not figure out how we gained weight when he fed us brown rice and fresh fruit.

Maybe it was the All You Can Eat Buffet of Mom's house juxtaposed with the Raisins Are Natures Candy at Dad's.

Mom never had many weight problems ,she eats whatever she wants. She bought whatever we asked for and she bought a lot of it. She stayed pretty slender and we porked up like pinatas.

I desperately want this to be a non-issue for Peter. I want him to eat when he is hungry, stop when he is full and be done with it. I know I have made good strides in our diets, we don't drink juice, we only buy chips for company now, we have salad in the house. I pack Mister a healthy lunch every day.

Being home has challenged my diet in a whole new way. Time can hang heavy on my hands and I love to bake. And I love baked things. And it is very easy to snack and snack and snack.

I am wrestling with eating healthy while home, that is for sure. Part of it is not getting enough sleep. But still, the scale is giving me increasingly( har har) bad news.

I think I am going to have to go back on the strict diabetes diet till I figure out how to manage this all access pass I have to the fridge.

Quiet...for now.

I have some down time. I suppose I should take out the garbage or work on my grocery list, but eff that. Peter is sleeping in his swing. He's slept a lot today, because he had a rough night. Poor man. He was totally exhausted from teething and when we got him down THE THUNDERSTORM OF LOUDNESS AND BADNESS started.

We took him to bed after the fifth time we got to him sleep and ka-boom THUNDER. So it's been a catch up day for him. I did odds and ends like sorting out expired coupons and starting matching up my sales for this weekend. Now he's up. I started sorting Peter's clothes and pulling out the stuff he's grown out of and threw his next size up into the hamper to be washed. After this batch we'll be at the end(almost) of his baby shower booty.

I am making him pureed pears tonight. We are having ziti and more pie. Mmmmm, it was amazing. Not to toot my own horn but TOOT TOOT!

Troops, there is a new blog in my sidebar.

I did some upkeep and heaved out links that are old and added A NEW BLOG. http://www.unicornium.net/ It is not only SUPER AWESOME but refreshingly does not involve TTC. And really couldn't we all use a break from blogs guaranteed to mention cervical mucus semi frequently?

There are only two posts so far, but every blog starts with the first few posts. Go say "hey", you'll be glad you did.

In CeliaLand, I just pulled a pumpkin pie out of the oven and have a pot of white chicken chili on the stove. Mr. Peter Pants is asleep in his swing and I am just waiting for the poached chicken to cool enough for me to shred it.

Yesterday was kinda miserable due to Peter's teething. Mister is gone from 8 15 a.m. till 10-ish p.m. on Tuesday because he is in a bowling league. So I was a little crazed after 14 hours of crankiness. Well, 12 hours- things improved after Mama dispensed some Tylenol and oragel.

I was even able to scrub the shower today. Hurrah! Yesterday I cleaned the fans. I am hoping to have time to polish the silver soon. Excitement is my middle name.

A weekend full of pleasure and pain.

The zoo was awesome, we had a very good time. Except for the reptile house, which was like being in a Chuck E Cheese ...with snakes. We walked five miles that day. Lemme tell you more active jogging type people what happens to your gentle stroll to the park, have two biscuits with dinner type people when they walk five miles. THERE IS PAIN.

When we got home I crawled into bed with Peter by six and he watched Mr Ceiling Fan while I napped, then he napped then we both slept till ten when I ate dinner of leftovers and then went back to bed.

Because...I was getting sick. Mister got away with just feeling crappy. I had some gnarly stomach cramps and was pretty useless all the next day. SADLY it was a Sunday which is our run around like a-holes day. So I dragged ass to the grocery store and Wal Mart. Then I came home and had sexxy diarrhea while Mister made lemon bars and raspberry cheesecake bars.

I did not take anything because I did not know if it would hurt my supply. But I was determined to keep going.

Because... we had a birthday party for my dad, stepmom, and seven year old step-nephew an hour away. Which we could have canceled but I figured if I went to the party people would entertain Peter and I could slump in a chair. I was right. So I slumped and ate pretzels while everyone played Pass The Peter. If you want excitement, take an hour car trip after diarrhea.

I feel somewhat better today, but I have to do all the stuff that did not get done yesterday. lame.

How could I forget? When I was sitting down on the toilet I closed my eyes and somehow whacked my face into the bar on the wall. You know, the giant handicapped helper bars? I smacked my face right into it and THEN was sick. YAY!

To the zoo

This weekend we are going to the zoo. My sister is coming. I am very excited!

Currently Peter is in his crib yelling his head off at the unfairness of life. WHY do I want him to sleep? WHY can't he play with his lamb? WHY MILK LADY WHY? I am going to give him a few minutes. He has been up since 7 30 with only an hour snooze.

Soon we are going for a walk. Mister and I are still marveling that it has been six months of parenting. It really is a blur.

I love it. Loveitloveitloveit. I wish there was sleep. We cuddle and sing songs and take a daily walk to the park. I sit on the stoop and the neighbors coo over Sir Peter Pants, handing him back and forth.

Six months ago today...

Oh Mommie, no laundries.

Thunder also helped me make the bed today. He loves to jump around while I change the sheets. His has been stalking my water glass lately. Naughty. I don't have a lot of rules but one of them is that if you lick your own ass, you don't share my water glass.

Peter is sleeping in his swing, hooray! Who knows for how long. We have company coming for dinner tomorrow and I sat down to rest and blog for a few minutes. Of course, I forgot I just shampooed the computer chair so now my butt is soggy.

If you are wondering WHY I shampooed the computer chair, your baby must not have acid reflux. I usually change our sheets twice a week now, in addition to shampooing the carpet and furniture weekly. Sometimes daily. If it was just drool I would wipe it off, but that spit up STINKS. Mmmm. barfy couch.

I cleaned the downstairs bathroom and almost finished the upstairs, stripped and remade the beds, and pulled the comforters to wash them. Like anybody is going to walk into our house and say "ahhh I see you washed the bed spreads" well at least I'll know they are clean.

I still have to mop the floors but that can wait till tomorrow. And I have to vacuum the stairs and dust. I don 't want to do that while Peter is sleeping. There must be something I can do now and not last minute. I suppose I could brush the cats. I have to bake the cake but I want to wait till Mister gets home. He has a half day tomorrow so that he can go to Peter's 6 month appointment.

Apricot roast pork for Kate. Mommie tries to do laundries.

Take a pork tenderloin and salt and pepper it. Put it on a rack over a baking pan. Drizzle some oil on it. Not too much. Get some REAL apricot jam, (no nasty corn syrup or added whatevers) and spoon a generous amount on and smear it all OVER that bitch. I use almost an entire jar. Then, take some fresh thyme and sprinkle it on there, and some onion, sliced/chopped whatev. Push it all into the jam so it doesn't fall off.

Then cook till 160.

Leftovers are delicious over a salad the next day. See, it looks fancy when you have company and tastes great but is really slackass easy.

Baby food

It's coming along. Yesterday I fed him mashed avocado and froze some. Today I put it in a plastic baggie and put the baggie in a cup of very hot tap water. It defrosted really quickly( I had frozen it portioned in tablespoons) and looked extremely fresh.

I suppose I could buy organic baby food but making it from scratch has really been no trouble at all. Tonight for our dinner I made apricot roast pork, scalloped potatoes and sauteed apples. I took some of the apples aside and steamed them. After they cooled I pushed them through a fine mesh strainer and put them in the fridge for tomorrow. So it's all set and I won't have to do anything baby food wise all weekend.

So far he has had bananas, avocado, sweet potatoes, carrots, rice and oatmeal. This week he will have apples, and maybe peas and of course more bananas because he is a FANABANANA.

Are there any other parents of boys out there that have had people allude to them that they hope your son is not gay? I was shocked the first time someone did that and it has happened three times. Most memorably a friends mom said she hoped he would not be "light in the loafers" .
NICE

A. He is a BAYBEE.
B. So what if he did turn out gay? Jesus, it's not like he turned out REPUBLICAN *shudder*.

Oh sleep, where art thou?

By crikey, our angel is going to be six months old in a week. That means I have not had a good nights sleep in almost A YEAR. So apparently it doesn't kill you. But it does make you look like pure shit. We have almost no pictures of me with Peter because I look like a pigs ass. We actually have a really funny one where Peter looks GREAT and I look like hammered hell. I am thinking of putting it on the blog because I know it would have cheered me as an infertile to see how ass- nasty it is.



Mom is going back to my sister's in three days. I am counting the hours. Peter is absofreakingloutely refusing to sleep in his crib. We tried last night and he fought and fought and fought and worked himself into a total state.

Better ish

Today was better than Sunday. Sunday was better than Saturday. We went out to do errands and Peter stayed asleep. We made a list of EVERYTHING we could possibly do and stayed out three hours. Peter took a three hour nap. It would have been swell if I had not been a ball of nerves the entire time.

I got my hair cut. It is the third worst haircut of my entire life. #2 was the verytightperm in 1988 and #1 the MULLET my Mother and her friend insisted on giving me even though I KNEW it was bad. I might have been in 3rd grade( 4th?) but I still knew a what a VERY BAD IDEA was. I refused to take my knit hat with the pom pom on it off at school for days.

Anyhow, I told the lady at the salon that I do not do things to my hair. I wash it, comb it, and that. is. it. No gel. No mousse. No paste/wax/curlers/spritzing whatever the crap you hair people do.

She cut it, and as she finished she said " now when you blow dry it..." Hello? I only use my dryer on the cats after they get a bath. It is horrid. Plus, there are bangs. And every step I take they smack me in the face. I am gonna have to go get it fixed.

long sigh. All I wanted was wash n go people, is that so hard? Why don't hair dressers believe me when I say wash n go? NOT WASH, SCRUNCH AND GO. NOT WASH, DRY AND GO. JUST WASH AND GO DAMMIT.

I think

that I actually hate her. Not like "push her off a cliff hate" more like repulsed.

One day done.

Seven more to go. I am already out of my mind.

Dear next Sunday,

Please get here soon, before I end up drooling in a corner of the house while Mom polishes her martyrs crown.

love,

me

Dum dum dum da da dum da da dum

Mom is coming

My sister really needs a break but I am NOT looking forward to it. I wish she did not make me batshit crazy. I am just going to remind myself that Peter has a good time with her, and she has a good time with him. And I am going to buy a box of chocolate and keep it in my room.

Peter is doing somewhat better at night. I decided to switch him to oatmeal instead of rice cereal because I think he is a little bound up. I feel like oatmeal is healthier than rice anyway.

Dear Baybee Jesus,

Please do not let me lose my temper with Mom. Please help restrain me from bitching about her on Facebook. Please help me remember that some day she will be dead ( some day?) and I might ( ?) feel guilty about snapping at her.
love,

Me

Senor Monkeypants is

being EXTREMELY cute today. He is just cracking me up. He has been making these noises when he eats, like "mmmmmm hmmmm mmmmm mmmmm!" Then he pats my boob. It's hysterical.

We had to go buy new pjs yesterday, because he is too tall for his old ones. We only picked up six pairs, because I figure he will need warmer ones by next month. Yesterday Mister had the day off, but it was a very special day. He played Starcraft for sevenfrickinghours. Maybe NINE. I was glad, but also irritated. I did want him to relax. but I will never understand how anyone could enjoy playing video games all damn day. An hour seems long enough to me. However, he assured me that is a normal amount and that he used to do it for like 16 hours on his days off.

Mister reads my blog sometimes. HI HONEY. Anyhow, have you ever felt happy for someone and resentful AT THE SAME TIME? I know that is dumb and not only did I say it was good for him to play video games, I encouraged him. But part of me was also like "really? really? Starcraft for howmanyfreakinghours?"

I really thought he would play for a while and then we would go do some family thing. Like he reads my mind. I am always telling him that I can't read his mind and yesterday I was expecting him to do it.

You know, I really do want him to have a break. The part of me that knows he works hard and tries hard and has given up a lot and hellooo, how many men will clean their Mother in laws bedsores? There is loving and supporting your wife, and then there is helping clean your mother in laws bedsores. Every time I think of that I know how much he loves me.

And then there is the other part of me. The part that wants a bubble bath. The part that used to spend three hundred dollars at the hair salon. The part that does not let people in gas guzzling cars get in front of her in traffic. The nasty bits, if you will. That part of me is saying ( in a thick Jersey accent) WHAT THE FUCK? I SLAVE ALL DAY EVERY DAY AND THREE HOURS IS PLENTY OF TIME FOR GODDAMN STARCRAFT AND I AM STILL REALLY MAD THAT YOU SAID THAT GIVING PETER A BATH IS MY JOB.


Yeah, that part. Anyhow, I try to smush that part down because I really do want him to have a break and honestly even though staying home can he freaking hard- it can also be really easy. Like now, when Mister is at work and I am blogging while Peter plays with his elephant on the gymini. Plus I know that there is only so much of a break I can have till El Senor is finished breastfeeding.

It can be frustrating and isolating to be home all day, as much as I love it.

A shout out to Marie

Who is a very fabulous person.

This and that

I don't know how much time I have. Gee, that sounds creepy. What I mean is that I am prettydarnbusy. Peter has been sleeping a little better. A little. Feeding him is going well. Mom is coming to visit on Labor Day and staying for a week. Cue gloomy music. She makes me pretty irritated. And she talks to Peter like he is an idiot.

The house is getting cleaner. Although I do feel like a mouse on a wheel in that I clean and it just gets thrashed again. Clean the puke and someone pukes. Clean the kitchen and it's time to cook. Dust and it gets dusty. We have been walking every day, and Peter really likes it.

My hair is getting really thin in places. I have to call the doctor, I should call today. Probably because I have not been taking my thyroid medication like I am supposed to. But now I keep the pills next to my bed and it is easier.

We went to Ye Quaint Towne on Saturday and walked around with Peter in the Bon Giorno( that's what Mister calls the Baby Bjorn) and bought Peter one of those stacking toys. We put away the PacknPlay, it was just taking up space. we bought birthday presents for Uncle Sean and Auntie Andrea.

My inlaws are still ignoring us. Which kind of feels like a WIN, but is also annoying. They have not communicated with us since Father's Day. Oh MIL, kiss a mile of my fat white ass. I am telling you one thing, they have another thing coming if they think they can ignore Peter all the time and then swoop in on holidays. Hell to the no.

Thus far Peter has had bananas, sweet potatoes, and carrots. He spits up MUCH LESS after solid food than he does after milk.

This week we are reading Skippyjon Jones 123.

What a disjointed post. Argh.

Swagbucks

I have been trying out Swagbucks for the last three weeks. I like it. It appeals to my inner gambler. How it works is, you set them as your home page and you are randomly awarded points as you search. Then you trade the points in for stuff. They have Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and sigh...drool... Sephora gift cards that you can buy with your points. I have enough points now, for my first Amazon.com gift card.

Am I gonna get rich? No. But I search the internet anyway, I might as well have some fun with it. Am I worried that BIG BROTHER knows how many times a day I go to Facebook? Not really, who cares? That stuff is tracked already, anyway. It does not seem any different to me than a supermarket card.

I think it is fun, like doing a scratch and win. All the coupon websites I go to were forever singing it's praises but I was suspicious. It's legit, troops.


I wanted to put up the widgit, but it insists on using my real name. I am ok with that, but the size is not right.

Restaurant WIN!

We had a great time on Sunday. Sunday morning was brunch and it was very nice, although Peter was ALL TITTEH ALL THE TIME. And then we had about an hour till everyone got to our house and we headed to Victory Brewing Company. Oh Lord do we love it there. Sadly I had to feed Peter in the car, because I am no way skilled enough to feed him in the center of a crowded restaurant at the head of a table, in a chair with no arms. Peter throws nursing covers off. My little lactivist.

We got this kickass toy that suctions to the highchair and he finds it very entertaining. We might buy a second one.

He loves cereal. No, he LOVES cereal. He gets very excited. We are going to start sweet potatoes next week. I tried the rice cereal with my breast milk in it. It tastes really sweet like rice pudding. So I figured a sweet first food makes sense.

We are still freaking co-sleeping. Now I know it is just temper because when Mister takes him to bed without me, Peter is fine for a few minutes and then starts hollering. To be honest, we are scared to try sleep training him again because it was so awful. Yes, I am scared of it. WHAT??? SKEERED TO SLEEP TRAIN YOUR BAYBEE??? Yes. You try it. His will is insane and he fights dirty.

Cleaning cleaning cleaning

Peter is doing very well, and honestly apart from his intense objection to the crib- I could not ask for a better baby. He is fine in the car, the tub, getting dressed, he now can entertain himself in the jumperoo and on the gymini for about a half hour. The past few days he has even napped without me holding him. Yesterday I was able to scrub the showers and wash the shower curtains and clean the oven and steam clean the love seat( again).

Today , I fed him and put him in the swing and he has been asleep almost an hour. So I washed the dishes and made tonight's meatloaf. Oh, he is up now. Cheers!

Tonight we are going to a variance meeting, someone wants to replace the closed car dealership behind our house with an ice cream parlor or parlour if you are feeling fancy. We are going because we want to know if it is just ice cream or if he is going to sell hot dogs, etc. I do not relish (lol) the smell of hot dogs that close to my house.

We are hoping that if the guy is allowed his variance for a bigger sign and out door seating that we will be allowed one for a six foot privacy fence. We are currently only allowed a four foot fence. I don't want to bbq in the backyard next year while umpteen people wait for their twisty cone. There is neighborliness and then there is ALL NEIGHBORS ALL THE TIME. No thanks.

So we'll see how that goes.

We totally lost our minds and double booked Sunday. We have friends coming for brunch YAY and then we are going out to dinner an hour away to a restaurant with five other people and two of them are totally freakedout by breastfeeding. Hopefully I will be able to pump enough to save their delicate sensibilities.

I am on a cleaning frenzy, partially because of Sunday and partially because I finally am getting a little time to do it. If there is one lesson I have learned, it's to nevereverever put things off with a baby because it could be a week till I get back to it.

Peter had a playdate yesterday, so cute!

Yesterday

Mother of Christ. My sister is away so Mister went to her house to do some middle of the week stuff for her. Which meant it was me and Petey for 13 hours. I got a little bit of stuff done. I tried putting Petey in his crib. FAIL. MASSIVE FAIL. Then when Mister got home I did the handoff and Peter gave me Puss in Boots sad eyes. Then he screamed. Screamed does not really cover the sound he made. Is there a bigger word than "screamed"?

I figured it was gas or teething pain, but no. As flattering as it is that Mommy and ONLY MOMMY will do, it is getting a little ridiculous. We are going to try sleep training again this weekend, though last night makes me think it will be awful.

You know, I really hope Petey of The Future does not read this and think he is anything but loved. He is my darling peanut. But for real, Mommy needs a break.

I read in someones blog or maybe a comment that their baby was wanted so much that they felt like he should never cry. I think that is part of what is going on. I am letting the struggle of getting him here affect how I parent him. Which is not fair to him. He should be allowed to be normal. Even if that means suffering. Because where in the heck is the line between comforting my crying baby and not letting him learn independence?

I really wish this was easier- or at least that I had a stronger feeling of what is the right thing to do. I wish I could stop bitching about how tired I am, but Mister said it is only normal to be obsessed by this point.

How it's going.

Well, Peter is happy as a clam. Mister and I are...less so. Mister is sleeping on the couch because he is afraid of rolling onto Peter. I am a security blanket. But at least I am not delirious. We are going to try again this weekend.

Dear Peter,

You are the apple of our eyes. The cherry on our sundae. We adore you. PLEASE SLEEP IN YOUR CRIB.

love,

Mommy and Daddy

Giving in. Good Enough Parenting.

I can't fight Peter on the sleep thing anymore. We are shelving the whole problem for at least a week. Maybe two weeks. Yesterday I was so tired that I was not only incoherent, but I was so out of it that Peter banged his head on our table. He did not get hurt, and did not even notice except to give me a WTF look. But, he could have been hurt.


So we are co-sleeping. I am not happy about it, but yesterday I was so exhausted that Peter did not even seem real. It was like I was watching him on tv. Thank God Mister was home.

Peter screams every night for two hours in his crib, and wakes screaming between five and eight times a night. Mister figures I have been getting four hours of broken sleep for almost five months straight.

I feel better today. Peter was so happy to be in our bed that when we climbed in he gave me a huge smile and snuggled in and closed his eyes. He would peek at me and then smile again. And though he was up quite frequently to eat, he stayed in bed till 8 15. An unheard of time.

Now he is very chipper and playing in his jumperoo.

We got a little crazy yesterday.

Sooo, Peter has been waking up EIGHT TIMES A NIGHT AND WAILING. It has been pretty fucking horrid. Yesterday was his pediatrician appointment and Mister had to call out of work because I was too tired to drive. I was actually too tired to walk and almost fell down the stairs. I've taken to hugging the wall on the way down like a drunk co-ed.

We saw a different doctor yesterday. I liked her the best of everyone we have seen so far, since she does not prescribe hugging it out as medical treatment. She checked out Mr. Crankypants and said he is healthy. While he was there he was happy, laughing and in general not acting like he ever even heard of crying. Not that I wanted him to be berserk but it would be nice not to look crazy.

Peter has gained a pound in two weeks and is now 15 pounds, 14 ounces. He was 14 pounds, 11 oz at his four month appointment.

She said it was a temperament issue( secret code for Your Baby Is Gonna Kick Your ASS when he is Two.) and that he also appears to be cutting a tooth. She prescribed tylenol and oragel. She told me to have a glass of wine each night. She also confirmed what every other doctor has been saying is impossible, that our young man is having tantrums. I asked how come she was the only doctor to agree this is possible at his age and she said it was because she has a four month old son and he is exactly like Petey. In fact, she almost brought him in to the office herself that day for the same reasons. I asked her how she could even work when I was too tired to drive and she said she was not sure how she was doing it.

She said it was important for us to let him cry some.

She also said she would advise us to start solids NOW, because some babies refuse food completely if you wait too long( secret code for YOUR SON WILL ONLY WANT THE TITTY IF YOU DON'T GET STARTED) so we bought rice cereal and gave him some yesterday. It went pretty well, I figure we can just give him a little every day and not give him fruit or whatever till he is at the six month mark.

Strangely, Peter was the ideal baby yesterday. He took two huge naps and some cat naps and did not scream till... it was bedtime.

We got a ton of errands done, paid bills went to the library, Walgreens, BRU, Best Buy, and the bank to set up Peter's savings account.

While we were at Best Buy, Mister was salivating over the Macs. He found some out of box on sale for 1400. We have been discussing buying a new computer because Mister loves video games. That is an understatement right there. He loves video games like Joan Rivers likes plastic surgery.

Anyhow, for those of you not married to my husband or an equivalent model- a new Starcraft has come out after 12 years. Our very nice, perfectly respectable and still very shiny Mac will not run it. Mister was heartbroken. Crushed. For real.

So he was looking at ways to buy a new computer. I would happily use this Mac till it crumbled but I am missing some critical NEW TECHNOLOGY IS GOD gene.

Now, I have been through this with Mister before. When he gets the bug for a new tv/phone/computer he will eatsleeptalk it to death. We "happen" to stop at appliance stores just to look, and look, AND LOOK all the while Mister talking to me about gigs and ram and videocards like I have any clue (or give a crap).

But I love him. 12 years is a long time to wait for something. I don't want him to lose that part of himself just because he is a father now. Video games are part of him, just like Doctor Who and an intense love of chipped beef on toast.

Soooooo, we decided to get the new Mac. However, the sale Mac did not have a big enough graphics card. Soooooo we now have the biggest and most tricked out ( FINE, the model BELOW the biggest and most tricked out MAc. The SECOND MOST tricked out ( Mister is saying something about processing speed and a front side bus( WHATEVER))I NEED TWO PARANETHESIS FINE.

Anyhow we now have an 1800 dolla Mac. I am ok with it. I want Mister happy. And it will be paid off soon since Mister is having a gabillion ebay sales right now.

Party at my blog today!

Prop 8 is overturned!

Pass the dutchie from the left hand side

kind of. Mister and I have been so desperate to get Peter to sleep, we are discussing him taking a week off work so that all we do is try and get Peter to sleep in his crib. That way Mister won't have to worry about getting up for work.

Anyhow, I called the pediatrician today to see if they could suggest ANYTHING.
Swaddle- yes
Dark room- yes
Routine- walk, book, song, boobie, bed. YES.
Soooooo they suggested Tylenol. Part of me is I'll try anything, and part of me is DRUG MY BAYBEE???

They said the Tylenol might help him sleep for three hours at a time and get him used to his crib. I am not sure I like the idea of giving him Tylenol. They said he might be teething, and the pain could be waking him also. They said absolutely do not take him in our bed. umm I have been.

The last two days I took him in, because I was just exhausted. So are we just effed and doomed to a life of caffeine and bags under our eyes or what? My Mom said today that he will be walking before he is sleeping in his own bed.


So the doctor called back tonight around 8 30. She wanted to know if we found the info we were given earlier helpful. I said no, not so much. So we talked about Peter some more and they want to see him in the office to give him a once over and then we may be taking him to a gastroenterologist. She said that waking seven times in the night is excessive. She asked me if I thought he was in pain and I said sometimes I did, but sometimes I did not.

My poor monkey.

Bits and pieces

Mom and my sister are coming for brunch tomorrow. Dad and stepmom were supposed to come too, but they might not because their puppy is sick. We are having chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, blueberry scones with lemon butter, bacon, and sausage. We were also going to have mushroom and onion quiche, but with Dad canceling it would be too much food.

Peter was a very happy boy today, and made himself laugh in the jumperoo. We danced together and sang. And screeched. Peter loves to make this happy screech, and if you do it with him he gets even louder. So we listened to Flight of the Conchords and danced and screeched together. It was fun.

Of course, it is still vomit central. sigh. SRSLY . We went for a walk today and just hung out. We are having major sleep problems and they are affecting us all. I have not had a good nights sleep in 7 months. Not more than two hours straight. Not once. I wonder what happens to you if you go a whole year without REM sleep?

I know it is making me forgetful and edgy. But not edgy in a cool Johnny Depp way, more like in a Kate Gosselin way.

But it is still lovely, seeing Peter grow and change and how his whole face fills up with a smile is very wonderful.

Not dead. yet.

We are trying desperately to sleep train Peter. Mostly he is sleep training US. Last night he was up seven times from 11 til 6. But not every hour. He slept from 9ish til 11 then, till 2, then it was anything from an hour to twenty minutes till we gave up and got up for the day. We just got him down now at a quarter to ten.

I really should be cleaning. He has spent the last three nights in his crib. Sort of. In that he protests with an unbelievable amount of vigor.

Anyhow, that is what is going on here. I am not getting more than an hour and a half of sleep at a time. I could make sweet, sweet love to a white chocolate mocha.

Good times

Today Peter threw up in my hair, and pooped on my leg. If you are wondering why I don't currently have time to blog, it's because every day is a festival of projectile vomit.

A miracle

Petey is asleep. In his CRIB. I know, right?

I am really hoping that we are turning a corner and I can feel like more than a milk truck. Because that is what I feel like a lot. A big ole milk truck. Do not get me wrong, I am elated. I told Mister yesterday that I was so very happy to be able to be home with Peter.

But who wants to read about me saying I find staring at my son while he stares at the ceiling fan very fulfilling? Don't knock the ceiling fan channel, you get to lay down while you watch it.

I find increasingly that while my body is always busy, my mind is not. I almost miss work. Not the job I got laid off from, but the feeling of accomplishment you get when you love your job. And the validation. I know Mister and I agreed and planned for and worked toward me being a stay at home mom. In fact, I have exactly what I wanted. Which is scary. Because who has exactly what they want? Seeing our life plan come together and actually work out is surreal.

Yesterday Mister and I took Peter for a walk in the park to watch the ducks and get some fresh air. Then we had dinner together, read a story, bathed Peter and put him to bed. It was the life we have always wanted.

Granted, I imagined there would be less projectile vomiting and more sleep.

Anyhow, I guess what I mean is that I feel intellectually stagnant. My big thrill each week is planning our grocery trip in the most efficient and cost effective way. I do actually enjoy that, but when your big thrill is saving 70 bucks a week on your groceries , maybe you need a hobby.

I don't really have time yet for a hobby. My old hobby became my job- I loved to cook and went to culinary school. I do finally enjoy baking again but when you bake- you end up with baked goods and who is gonna eat them all.

My other hobby was reading, and I worked in a bookstore. Not doing that again. I used to love working there but then they made all the employees miserable.

I don't know, I am kind of feeling at a mental loose end. Lots of time to think but no time to do things un-baby related.

how can breast milk

farts smell so bad? holy god.

jolly!

Yay! Peter took an hour and a half nap today in his swing and is now playing merrily on his gymini! I am doing laundry and wandering around the house. And eating too many granola bars. We have nothing on the menu this weekend, thank goodness! It's been hectic. Ok- crazy.

Peter was 14 pounds 11 ounces at his check up and 25 inches. I told his pediatrician I wanted to hold off on solid food till he is six months, which really is just a blink away. Peter is four months old today! He is celebrating by hardly crying at all. Splendid! He started blowing raspberries today.

We went to the library yesterday and he was so happy. Mister and I are still surprised when he is happy. Anyhow, I think we are buying Peter some new duds this weekend, and then just doing chores around the house.

Well I had better shove off and clean something before he wants to eat. Or cry. Or eat and cry.

Four Month Check up

It's tomorrow. At 8 30 a.m. What the eff was I thinking? Helloo, sure we are up, but out the door and organized? Not so much. He gets some shots. At his 2 month appointment, they assured me he would sleep all day after his shots. NO. FAIL.

I am so excited to see how much he weighs. We think he is 15 pounds. Hopefully Mister will take the morning off to drive us, because I hate driving Peter and it always seems to rain/he is wailing/flying monkeys chase us when I have to drive him somewhere.

We decided this weekend that we will try for another. I made Mister be the one to say so, because adjusting to a baby has been harder for him. It gives me a cold chill to think about another newborn, we are both afraid we will have another screamer. But we would love for Petey to have a brother or a sister. As crazy as my sister makes me, I love her to bits and cannot imagine life without her. And even though the first months of parenting have been more like hazing than anything else, we are going for it. Sooooo, we figure( plan? hahahahahahaha-good one) we will start trying in March. Which is good because I do not relish the two hour round trip to the RE's in the winter anyway.

The house is s l o w l y coming back together. I would still hyperventilate if someone announced they were dropping by, but it is getting there. Sure, there is still a miter box and a shop vac in the living room but there are no more exposed wires. So hurrah!

Two steps back

Peter was a little sick on Friday, and we took him in bed with us. Now he is fine, but screaming at the unfairness of his mean parents. We have been too tired to hold firm. So Peter has been snuggled up next to his very favorite thing. If you are wondering his very favorite thing is titties. And when Mister and I are feeling especially silly that is what we pretend Peter calls me. As in
" Hey Titties! Come over here and pick me up!"

We had a nice weekend, with a lot of to-ing and fro-ing. The house is in that place where it's so bad I just want to leave it and get a new house. What a mess. Ugh. I sneaked onto the internet because Peter fell asleep and- ha! ha! He is awake. Later troops.

Hijacking my own blog for a friend

Ok, you guys know I suck hard at linking and etc so bare with me while I set this up. Please follow the link and vote for my friend Amy's charity. You can do it on Facebook. I figure, I have 32 followers, so that makes for 32 votes. And if you post it on your blog and FB accounts ( STRONG HINT) you could really help them win. Here is their mission statement:

The mission of the IDEA League is to promote awareness of and research for Dravet syndrome and related epilepsy disorders and to provide resources and support to improve the quality of life for affected individuals and families. We strive to be the most up-to-date and accurate information source for Dravet syndrome and related conditions for both families and professionals.


This is the link Dravet Syndrome

I would really appreciate it and I know Amy would too.

Things are going well

Petey should be waking up any time now from his afternoon nap. Which is in his swing. If I let him stay on me for about half an hour, I can transfer him to his swing. I am reluctant to declare success after only three days, but I am declaring HOPE.

Another fabulous thing, an awesome thing, is that I am not hungry all the time now. I suppose it was sleep deprivation driving my insane, more appropriate to a teenage boy appetite. Because I had breakfast, lunch and a small snack today and am cruising along on just that. Previously I would have had at least two more snacks and been counting the hours till dinner.

Tomorrow if he naps I am going to attempt some big chores that I never thought I could get done on a weekday. I might scrub the shower, as opposed to squirting cleanser in it and hoping for the best. Or... I might dust. Or... polish the silver. The silver has needed polishing for A YEAR. I did not want to do it pregnant, and had no time afterward. I enjoy polishing silver. Cause I am a big old freak.

Peter's disposition has improved TREMENDOUSLY in the past three days. He is quite happy to play in the pack and play three times a day, and to play on his gymini. or a blanket. He is also more aware, and seems to actually pay attention when we read to him now.

It is with no small amount of joy that I can say I have enough energy to play with Peter now. Instead of slogging through the day desperately trying to keep him happy/content/from shrieking, we tootle along doing normal baby and mommy things.

It is lovely to enjoy Peter, I loved him of course but holding a baby for 22 hours a day for almost four months is no joke. The two hours during the day and having my bed back have really given me a sense of self again. Last night I even had time ( and the energy?!) to rub Mister's back. I cannot even tell you the last time I looked at his back.

Still working.

Granted, it is only 10 p.m. on the second day, but after about a half hour of crying, Petey is sleeping in his crib. He has been asleep about 40 minutes. Hopefully he will stay down for another hour or so. I don't know, last night he was up after two hours, twice but I think that was maybe because he puked up five ounces of milk around seven. What a mess. It threw off the night, because we had to give him a bath. Anyhow, we felt like maybe he could not make it back up and was hungry.

He refused his nap today. He had a total meltdown at Pathmark. Good times.

I know it is too soon to say, but he seems to be handling this well. It is pretty bad listening to him cry and every cell of my body screaming PICK UP YOUR BAYBEE, and just petting him and telling him I love him instead. Argh.

But I am so happy to have him safe in his own crib.

He seems happier when he wakes up too, and this morning played and entertained himself for a while.

I got told again by someone that I should write. Well I did not tell them about my Supa Secret Blog, but they meant for MONEY, for GLORY, for FAME. Excuse me while I laugh. Writing is hard, writing is work, writing is unbelievably non-lucrative unless you become famous. I read.
I am A. too lazy to write a book.
B. just one in a long ass line of amusing women who blog.
C. Certainly not unique. What Mom ISN'T up to her ears in puke/drool/cat hair/chores? It's been said before, by better writers.
D. Private. I know that is strange coming from someone who has shared the status of her vaginal secretions with the entire internets but I am not a fan of fame. Or even notoriety. Writers have to MEET THE PUBLIC. Scary.
E. This is the big one. Hello, I worked in a book store for YEARS. There are a ton of great books no one reads. There are a ton of good books no one reads. There are a ton of SHITTY books that a lot of people read.( cough cough DanielleSteelJamesPattersonetc.) It is very very hard to get a book into someones hands. Just like for every open restaurant there are a lot that have closed, for every book on the shelf there a so many that vanished for various reasons. Lack of support,market, or an educated book seller to put the right book with the right customer. I have a huge back list in my head of Great Books No One Wanted To Buy. Sad.

Happy Independence Day!

For real, since Peter slept in his own bed for eight hours last night! Not in a row, but we are calling it a win. He fought for about two hours in the middle of the night, but gave up. Hooray! Now he is playing in his pack and play. Hooray!

We have a ton to do today, the room is finished, so we are going to try and set it up. We bought a white (iron?)bedframe from Ikea and a cute nightstand. Maybe i can get Mister to post pictures.

Peter slept in his crib last night! I am copy/pasting the email I sent my Dad. Well it won't let me. Maybe I can do it later on the Mac.

For real

This is crazy. In between Peter and the construction... well since I can't drink all I can say is that my cookie consumption is at an all time high. Tonight( cue scary music) I am going to try putting Peter in his crib.

Construction should be done by Sunday. Hopefully bringing things back to normal. Or normalish.

Under Construction

That's what is going on here. The new drywall is up and all the old crap is gone. But we are living in a construction zone. Not terrible, but still a disruption. Can I just say how THRILLED we will be to put everything back where it belongs? Everything is everywhere. But by this time next week, we should be all put back together. My stupid laptop is acting funky. sigh.

Anyhow, the mattress is in the family room, the teevee is in the dining room, the litter boxes were moved into the back bedroom which is where I am also nursing while the workers are here. Nice. We are going up to my Dad's in a few days to get Pete away from the fumes we will have when they varnish the floor.

We broke down and bought a swing. The ocean one by Fisher Price. It has gotten a mixed review from Peter, but right now he is sleeping in it! Dear Jeezus, let this be a theme and not a fluke please. He likes it going fast enough that I want to puke just watching him.