Clever title

Today has been pretty nice, but yesterday and Tuesday were so bad that I called my sister and begged her to skip out of work so I could take a nap,  Maybe the baby was having a growth spurt?  Yesterday I called Mr. at work and told him I had no idea how I was gonna cope or how I was going to make it another six weeks.  FIVE AND A HALF.   I am exhausted.  Once I can get comfortable I have crazy dreams and am up up up in the night to pee pee pee.  Insert obligatory infertile guilt that I am not floating on a cloud while humming uplifting songs. 

Dudes.  FOR REAL.  While I am super thankful for this baby and am continually amazed at how much easier it is than before( HELLLOOOO I CAN POOP WITHOUT BLOOD HELLLOOOO I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT AND WALK AND CHEW AND TYPE) I am still enormous and tired and chasing my tornado, Peter.  Mr. told me not to think about the next five and a half weeks and just to think about today.  Well, today is not bad.  Peter is napping.  Dinner is cooking.  Laundry is going.  The house is vacuumed.  All these things are good. 

I started drinking red raspberry leaf tea today.  Next week we start pineapple and the birthing ball.  Theoretically we are going to start having sex in two weeks.  UMMM.  I don't know how that is gonna happen.  Seriously.  A. Yuck. B.  HOW?  C.  NO. 

34 weeks

The baby is head down.  Fort Knox( aka my cervix) is still on lock down.  I have had quite a bit of pressure on my cervix but it has not changed anything.  My blood pressure is good and the baby seems happy.  My next appointment is in two weeks and then after that is every week. 

Peter's big boy room is almost finished, his drapes are up, and the new rug and new bed and dresser.  Some of the pictures are changed out.  It's nice.  He likes it very much.  The nursery is so not done.  The curtains are up, but Mr. did not have time yesterday to put the crib together.  Not like it matters, since the baby won't be ready for the crib for a while.  HOW ABOUT ME ACTUALLY TALKING LIKE THE BABY WILL GET HERE NO PROBLEM?? I don't know.  It's not like I have no fears of this all going away, but this pregnancy is so different.  Peter's was so bad and crap was always going wrong.  This is so easy and awesome. 

I am more tired now, and my body craps out after a while.  And I am enormous.  We tried to have sex yesterday morning but it felt like trying to shove that one last thing in your suitcase.  NO ROOM.  FOR REAL. 

We are having success with Peter's napping, though it is quite difficult for me to rock him and get up from the chair while holding him and then put him down.  Oh yeah.  Not cool.  I have more stuff but I just want to go lay down.

33 weeks tomorrow

Sweet Christ Above.  Seven weeks left?  We have WAY more than seven weeks of stuff to do.  Last weekend was a bust because the bed and dresser we ordered had not yet come. This weekend has been a complete cock up shit fest disaster waste because Mr. had MAN FLU.  Yes.  He went to bed at 8 30 Thursday and by Friday morning was a mess.  Then he rallied long enough to insist I call my ob.  Why?

Because I could not tell if I was peeing my pants or had an amniotic fluid leak.  I did not want to call because A. OBVIOUSLY I WAS PEEING MY PANTS SINCE MY CERVIX OPENS FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.  B. It would eff up our whole day because they would send me for monitoring and give me that "You know you are just peeing your pants look". C.  Helloooooo, New Year, New Deductible. 

He won, because if I was right and was peeing my pants all I would be was that lame chick that goes to the hospital for no good reason but if I was wrong then that was bad news. And SRSLY, who can tell the difference?  Not me.  If I sni.ff.ed my pa.nt.ies one more time I was going to scream.  How do I know what amniotic fluid smells like anyhow?  I couldn't tell.  So off we went and I was fine and so was the baby.  They said my cervix looked irritated but that it was from the lame third trimester whale sex hott and naaazty time ( five min?) Mr and I had the other day.  The midwife at the hospital that checked me out agreed that sex was one of the only ways to kickstart labor and she agreed we should do it as much as possible at the end. Considering I am now the FATTEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE, I have no idea how much that will be. 

Anyway, I am making Mr stay home tomorrow and rest one more day.  I did so much laundry and it does not even matter because he generated so much laundry with all the sweating.  I am secretly hoping he will feel well enough at some point tomorrow to clean the house with me.  At least to scoop the cat litter.  I can't and so made the best of it by buying new boxes and filling them with clean litter, but the other boxes need some MAJOR attention. 

Annyway

Magically, somehow I was able to rock my darling boy to sleep.  It has been a very hectic time with the go go go from before 7 a.m till 8 p.m. at night.  Some days are easier and some are NOT.  I am trying to enjoy this last bit of alone time with Peter.  He is growing so quickly that it seems as though each day brings something new.  He has a TON of imagination and holds his toys facing each other while they "talk" which is a mix of gibberish and real words.  It is hilarious.

His baby boy doll came yesterday along with the two bottles.  He was very excited to see it and fed it and burped it.  I figure we will role play with it every day. 

Right now I just have my feet up and am drinking some water.  There is a ton of stuff to do but a moment in the day to call my own is so rare.  It's funny because I have a lot of couch time during the day since Peter will play independently for quite a while now.  But since he ALSO does stuff like climb on tables and chairs and pitch headfirst into his bigass dump truck, it is not like I can take off for the kitchen while he plays.  He still needs constant supervision.  He got two big bruises this week.  One when I was stretching and he either fell ONTO his big metal dump truck or it flipped up and hit him in the face.  He got a Harry Potter-esque bruise frIom that.  Then yesterday I was trying to get him to rest( because he NAPPED on Tuesday and I was like MAYBE IT'S A WHOLE NEEEEEEW WORLD AND HE WILL NAP AGAIN) and he either hit his face on his toddler bed rail or smacked into his dresser or possibly ran into the door?  I don't know.  I heard a big bang and he started to cry.  So now he has this big somewhat triangle shaped bruise on his face.  NICE.

 I don't want to stop writing, because if I do then that means I really should do a chore. ANY CHORE. 

I award myself 100

agility points for doing it at 32 weeks and 3 days.  Dear children who might read that in the future.  Sorry about that.  SHEEEEWHOOOOO I feel like a weeble.   A great, big, ROUND weeble.  I have no idea how we are gonna do it in a few weeks.

32 weeks

Wow.  I guess I say that all the time, but WOW.  This is going so quickly, I wish I had more time to just enjoy it.  This pregnancy is so, so, so very much easier than Peter's.  I realize there is still time for shit to hit the fan( and have resolutely refused to think dead baby thoughts) but it had already hit the fan with Peter by now.  At the very least, I am thankful for making it this far with only minor problems.  I mean, minor.  Like, something will go wrong and then it will go away.  I am even on top of my constipation this time and while it is there it is still manageable. 

My weight is the only thing that is out of control.  I don't care.  Something had to give, and it was the scale.  I mean, part of me was eating whatever I wanted because I was SO CERTAIN GD was coming for me and that I would have to follow a strict diet for the last three months.  Except it didn't.  And thank goodness because I am telling you I would have been the shittiest patient ever.  I eat all the time, and I eat EVERYTHING.  I eat because I am tired, hungry, stressed, annoyed, or yeah TIRED.  With no option for rest and no more than my so sad cup and a splash of coffee a day  I am using sugar as a crutch to keep going.  Because you know, fuck it something has to keep me going.  I am way fat, people.  Not, oh you are so cute and pregnant, more like WHOA NELLY fat.  But I have decided that I have to do what I have to do to keep functioning and I will pick up the pieces ( or to be more accurate the ROLLS) later.  I have a 13 hour day with Peter every day, and then I get up at least four times a night to pee. 

Annnyhow, Peter's big boy room is well underway and adorable.  SO ADORABLE.  Trucks o'plenty and he loves it. His NEW, new bed and dresser are coming this weekend so the nursery will be finished by January.  And that should leave us February to cook and clean.  We ordered Peter's doll and so hopefully he will like it and we can practice with it. 

I am kind of in a holding pattern since the big "push" to get my labor started is on hold till week 36.  So four weeks.  I have a lot of braxton hicks, and my ankles are swollen a lot.  We are going to bring up the yoga ball soon and see if I can get the baby to head down to Vagina Land. Baby started having hiccups yesterday morning which is very cute. 

Losing the battle

Peter has slept ONCE in his toddler bed since December 5th.  If one more person acts like I am
A. Not trying.
B. Spoiling him.
C. A shitty parent.
D. All of the above.
I am gonna bust some skulls.  He has been in his room( and I know he is exhausted because he had a huge tantrum, two poops, and was yawning like crazy) for 45 minutes now, racketing around and banging things and knocking on his door. 

In related news DO NOT TELL ME CAFFEINE is bad for the baby. Unless you, yourself, PERSONALLY are coming over to watch my toddler( use your mad parenting skilz to get him to nap while you are here) then shut your hole. 

Oh man.  But we are all still here, and have clean clothes( usually) and dinner and Peter still has a fun and play-doh filled day.  We do not even watch a movie every day.  Maybe half the time he will see one. 

In not really related but kind of news, I am SERIOUSLY starting to hate my neighbor Mary Sunshine.  Her  24 month old listens, sleeps in, is toilet trained, is well behaved, does not have tantrums, has a huge vocabulary and Mary Sunshine gets pedicures and does yoga in a clean house then has Romantic Evenings with her True Love and Best Friend and Man of the House(yes she calls him that).   I know this, because

A. She lives across the street from me.
B. I get FREQUENT updates from FB.

She isn't awful so I can't legitimately hate her, but OH MY GOD I seriously am praying that they have another baby who never sleeps, never listens, and wears a diaper till he is five. 

In baby news, I have been having a lot more braxton hicks and some weird pains that feel like the baby is standing on my cervix.  If I move around I get fake contractions.  I am waiting for hiccups to start, since they were so cute with Peter.  I have my next appointment on Monday. 

In Peter news, he is counting to 12, knows his shapes, 20 letters of the alphabet, and likes to sing.  WE ALREADY DISCUSSED HIS NAPPING HABITS.  I just feel like he is one of those people that does not like to sleep. His el crapo sleeping habits have been there since birth.