CD 3

Nothing much going on in ovaryland. Hopefully AF will only be here two more days and then we can go ahead with our Month Of Intimacy. I must be really old because our Month Of Sleep sounds better.

You know something happened on Thanksgiving that I cannot let go. We were at Mr.Mostly's aunts house and it was festival of babies, just like every party with that part of the family. I swear when they gather, there is a babies r us totally empty somewhere.

I always know it will be chock full o' babies. I try to prepare myself and Mr.Mostly knows if I can't take it we will leave early. It's not like they got together before I got there and said "I KNOW! Lets really make her miserable by bringing our kids to family parties!" I mean, I know that I am bringing this sadness with me.

Anyhow I was sitting next to Mr.Mostly when what could only have been the most pregnant woman in New Jersey came into the room. They had a two year old also, and she was telling everyone how she was dilated and almost ready to go. Then they all had a nice laugh about how she would have spoiled Thanksgiving by giving birth. Then she walked (I'm sorry she did not waddle, she had no weight gain I could see except for the "baby bump" and sat down on her husbands lap.

I was not saying anything. I was looking very closely at my fingernails and trying not to cry. Because then instead of being Celia That Can't Have A Baby I would be Celia That Cries At Parties. The same way some people are Ted That Can't Keep A Job, or Kim That Cheated On Her Husband.

Then she said to my husbands cousin "Isn't this the best thing in the world? Isn't it just like I always told you. The best thing in the world!"

So basically I was in some kind of infertile hell. I just kept thinking it would have to stop soon and couldn't someone talk about taxes or the recession or football? But no, it was all a giant baby love fest.

So I escaped that room after a polite interval and looked at the Black Friday ads. Then when it was time for us to go, the couple walked up to us. He introduced himself( I am telling you, Mr. Mostly's family is huge) and then his wife and then he introduced me to his wife's stomach/baby. You know maybe I am a jerk but all I could think was there is no way I was greeting a body part. Anyway it was awful. It was awful, right? It wasn't my imagination?

I do feel better now. It has been bothering me for days. I can still see her and I don't want to. I want to forget her and block out her cheerful "It's the BEST thing in the world!"